job paying good money. And getting them nailed was no cinch,
believe you me, except, of course, I being such a prominent person I
didn't have as much trouble as some would of. Especially where a firm
was using my name on something, they could hardly refuse me. I seen
everybody personally myself, and only the bosses and in the end nobody
had turned me down except the one from which I had bought my new
bear-cat roadster for Jim's welcome home present and it was _some_
roadster, being neatly finished in pale lavender with yellow
running-gear and a narrow red trim and tapestry upholstery on the seats
which was so low and easy you involuntarily started to pull up the
blankets after you got settled. You know, the kind of a car you have to
look up from to see which way the cop is waving.

Well, anyways, you would of thought the bird which had sold it to me for
cash money, him being the manager of the luxurious car-corrall himself,
would offer to take on some of the boys. But no, he says there was too
many auto salesmen in the world already, and that they had ought to be
diverted into selling some of the new temperance drinks where their
trained imagination would undoubtedly be of great value.

Well, anyways, he was the only one turned me down and I had the slips
printed and stored away in a couple of cretone hat-boxes and commenced
allotting the victory-note pledges. And then I tripped over the fact
that I was a job short. There was the stuff all printed, and a job too
short and it the night before the big parade! Well, I decided that when
the time come I would make the extra job if I couldn't find it, and
believe you me, I was as wore out looking for them as a Ham with his
hair cut like a Greenwich village masterpiece. Not that I ever saw one
and I have often wondered where the artists which drew them that way,
did.

But in the meantime I had got hold of the Dahlia sisters, and Madame
Broun and La Estelle, and Queenie King and a lot of other easy-lookers
and had it all fixed for them to be on hand below Fourteenth Street at
ten o'clock to give out the slips while the boys was mobilizing or
whatever they call it. And then just as I was getting into the limousine
with Musette and the two cretone hat boxes full and the two fool dogs
and Ma, who would come up to me but Ruby Roselle with a new spring set
of sables which it is remarkable how she does it in burlesque, still far
be it from me to say a word about any person, having