y
and asked Ruby Roselle and Maison Rosabelle and the other girls. We
would of had a mahogany table and a gavel and a pitcher of ice-water and
a lot of hot-air and a wasted morning and in the end I would of been the
goat anyways, so I thought why not do it single-handed in the first
place and be done? I could print all their names on the leaflets and
they would be perfectly satisfied.

So having got over the necessary formalities as you might say, I
accepted the nomination and got to work. Fortunately I wasn't doing
anything except a solo dance at the Palatial at supper-time and one
picture. And so I had most of my days to myself. The Fixings on the
Avenue grew and blossomed and so did my contribution to the Welcome Home
Committee. I didn't get to go to any of their meetings but I don't
imagine they even missed me at the time. And while the arches and other
motion-picture scenery was being as completed as they ever would be, so
was my list. My monument took up less space, but when you gave it the
once-over it seemed maybe a little more rain-proof than the others.
Apparently all there was to it was slips of paper six by eight with this
printed on them. At the top it says:

"WELCOME HOME"

"HOWDY BOYS, AND OUR HEARTFELT THANKS!

DO YOU NEED A JOB? HERE ARE THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY AND A VICTORY NOTE

GOES WITH EVERY ONE!"

Then come the list. I will put down a part of it so you can realize what
a assortment of things has to be done to keep the seive in civilization.

4 handsome juveniles for motion-picture work--stage experience
unnecessary.

2 experienced camera men.

2 marcel-wavers.

6 chemists, Marie La Tour Complexion Powder Co.

2 salesmen, Marie La Tour Turkish Cigarette Co.

16 waiters, Palatial Hotel.

1 traveling man, Marie La Tour Silk Underwear Co.

2 experienced lineotypers, Motion Picture Gazette.

2 experienced pressmen, Motion Picture Gazette.

1 publicity man, experienced, Motion Picture Gazette.

3 fillum cutters.

1 stylish floorman. Must be handsome and refined, not over 30.
Apply Maison Rosabelle, Hats and Gowns.

1 orchestra complete, with leader. Apply "Chez La Tour" (my old
joint of parlour-dancing days).

30 chorus men.

2 sparring partners for Madame Griselda, the famous lady-boxer.

And etc, add affinities, as the Romans used to say. And every one a real
genuine