here never can be as long as men are mortal. England will be
secure when England is dead, just as the streets of London will be
safe when there is no longer a man in her streets to be run over, or a
vehicle to run over him. When you military chaps ask for security you
are crying for the moon.

MITCHENER (very seriously). Let me tell you, Balsquith, that in these
days of aeroplanes and Zeppelin airships, the question of the moon is
becoming one of the greatest importance. It will be reached at no
very distant date. Can you as an Englishman, tamely contemplate the
possibility of having to live under a German moon? The British flag
must be planted there at all hazards.

BALSQUITH. My dear Mitchener, the moon is outside practical politics. Id
swop it for a cooling station tomorrow with Germany or any other Power
sufficiently military in its way of thinking to attach any importance to
it.

MITCHENER (losing his temper). You are the friend of every country but
your own.

BALSQUITH. Say nobodys enemy but my own. It sounds nicer. You really
neednt be so horribly afraid of the other countries. Theyre all in the
same fix as we are. Im much more interested in the death rate in Lambeth
than in the German fleet.

MITCHENER. You darent say that in Lambeth.

BALSQUITH. Ill say it the day after you publish your scheme for invading
Germany and repealing all the reform Acts.

The Orderly comes in.

MITCHENER. What do you want?

THE ORDERLY. I dont want anything, Governor, thank you. The secretary
and president of the Anti-Suffraget League say they had an appointment
with the Prime Minister, and that theyve been sent on here from Downing
Street.

BALSQUITH (going to the table). Quite right. I forgot them. (To
Mitchener.) Would you mind my seeing them here? I feel extraordinarily
grateful to these women for standing by us and facing the suffragets,
especially as they are naturally the gentler and timid sort of women.
(The Orderly moans.) Did you say anything?

THE ORDERLY. No, Sir.

BALSQUITH. Did you catch their names.

THE ORDERLY. Yes, Sir. The president is Lady Corinthia Fanshawe; and the
secretary is Mrs. Banger.

MITCHENER (abruptly). Mrs. what?

THE ORDERLY. Mrs. Banger.

BALSQUITH. Curious that quiet people always seem to have violent names.

THE ORDERLY. Not much quiet about her, sir.

MITCHENER (outraged). Attention. Speak when youre spoken to. Hold your
tongue when youre not. Right about face. March. (Th