n aldermen
wiv me own hand.

MITCHENER. Poltroon. Crybaby. Well, better disgrace yourself here than
disgrace your country on the field of battle.

THE ORDERLY (angrily coming to the table). Whos going to disgrace
his country on the field of battle? Its not fightin I object to: its
soljerin. Show me a German and Ill have a go at him as fast as you or
any man. But to ave me time wasted like this, an be stuck in a sentry
box at a street corner for an ornament to be stared at; and to be told
"right about face: march" if I speak as one man to another: that aint
pluck: that aint fightin: that aint patriotism: its bein made a bloomin
sheep of.

MITCHENER. A sheep has many valuable military qualities. Emulate them:
dont disparage them.

THE ORDERLY. Oh, wots the good of talkin to you? If I wasnt a poor
soldier I could punch your head for forty shillins for a month. But
because youre my commanding officer you deprive me of my right to a
magistrate and make a compliment of giving me two years ard sted of
shootin me. Why cant you take your chance the same as any civilian does?

MITCHENER (rising majestically). I search the pages of history in vain
for a parallel to such a speech made by a Private to a general. But for
the coherence of your remarks I should conclude that you were drunk.
As it is, you must be mad. You shall be placed under restraint at once.
Call the guard.

THE ORDERLY. Call your grandmother. If you take one man off the doors
the place'll be full of Suffragets before you can wink.

MITCHENER. Then arrest yourself; and off with you to the guardroom.

THE ORDERLY. What am I to arrest myself for?

MITCHENER. Thats nothing to you. You have your orders: obey them. Do you
hear? Right about face. March.

THE ORDERLY. How would you feel yourself if you was told to
right-about-face and march as if you was a doormat?

MITCHENER. I should feel as if my country had spoken through the voice
of my officer. I should feel proud and honored to be able to serve
my country by obeying its commands. No thought of self--no vulgar
preoccupation with my own petty vanity could touch my mind at such a
moment. To me my officer would not be a mere man: he would be for the
moment--whatever his personal frailties--the incarnation of our national
destiny.

THE ORDERLY. What Im saying to you is the voice of old England a jolly
sight more than all this rot that you get out of books. Id rather be
spoke to by a sergeant than by you.