a favorable eye on my person?
MRS. FARRELL. Ive been too busy casting an unfavorable eye on your cloze
and on the litther you make with your papers.
MITCHENER (wounded). Am I to understand that you refuse me?
MRS. FARRELL. Just wait a bit. (She takes Mitchener's chair and rings up
the telephone.) Double three oh seven Elephant.
MITCHENER. I trust youre not ringing for the police, Mrs. Farrell. I
assure you Im perfectly sane.
MRS. FARRELL (into the telephone). Is that you, Eliza? (She listens for
the answer.) Not out of bed yet! Go and pull her out by the heels,
the lazy sthreel; and tell her her mother wants to speak to her very
particularly about General Mitchener. (To Mitchener.) Dont you be
afeard: I know youre sane enough when youre not talkin about the
Germans. (Into the telephone.) Is that you, Eliza? (She listens for the
answer.) Dye remember me givin you a clout on the side of the head for
tellin me that if I only knew how to play me cards I could marry any
general on the staff instead o disgracin you be bein a charwoman? (She
listens for the answer.) Well, I can have General Mitchener without
playing any cards at all. What dye think I ought to say? (She listens.)
Well, Im no chicken myself. (To Mitchener.) How old are you?
MITCHENER (with an effort). Fifty-two.
MRS. FARRELL (into the telephone). He says hes fifty-two. (She listens;
then, to Mitchener.) She says youre down in Who's Who as sixty-one.
MITCHENER. Damn Who's Who.
MRS. FARRELL (into the telephone). Anyhow I wouldnt let that stand in
the way. (She listens.) If I really WHAT? (She listens.)I cant hear you.
If I really WHAT? (She listens.) WHO druv him? I never said a word
to-- Eh? (She listens.) Oh, LOVE him. Arra dont be a fool, child. (To
Mitchener.) She wants to know do I really love you.(Into the telephone.)
Its likely indeed Id frighten the man off with any such nonsense, at my
age. What? (She listens.) Well, thats just what I was thinkin.
MITCHENER. May I ask what you were thinking, Mrs. Farrell? This suspense
is awful.
MRS. FARRELL. I was thinkin that perhaps the Duchess might like her
daughter-in-law's mother to be a General's lady betther than to be a
charwoman. (Into the telephone.) Waitle youre married yourself, me fine
lady: you'll find out that every woman is a charwoman from the day shes
married. (She listens.) Then you think I might take him? (She listens.)
Glang, you young scald: if I had you here Id teach you man
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