ners. (She
listens.) Thats enough now. Back wid you to bed; and be thankful Im not
there to put me slipper across you. (She rings off.) The impudence!
(To Mitchener.) Bless you, me childher, may you be happy, she says. (To
Balsquith, going to his side of the room.) Give dear, old Mich me love,
she says.

The Orderly opens the door, ushering in Lady Corinthia.

THE ORDERLY. Lady Corinthia Fanshawe to speak to you, sir.

LADY CORINTHIA. General Mitchener: your designs on Mrs. Banger are
defeated. She is engaged to General Sandstone. Do you still prefer her
to me?

MRS. FARRELL. Hes out o the hunt. Hes engaged to me.

The Orderly overcome by this news reels from the door to the standing
desk, and clutches the stool to save himself from collapsing.

MITCHENER. And extremely proud of it, Lady Corinthia.

LADY CORINTHIA (contemptuously). She suits you exactly. (Coming to
Balsquith.) Mr. Balsquith: you at least, are not a Philistine.

BALSQUITH. No, Lady Corinthia; but Im a confirmed bachelor. I don't want
a wife; but I want an Egeria.

MRS. FARRELL. More shame for you.

LADY CORINTHIA. Silence, woman. The position and functions of a wife may
suit your gross nature. An Egeria is exactly what I desire to be. (To
Balsquith.) Can you play accompaniments?

BALSQUITH. Melodies only, I regret to say. With one finger. But my
brother, who is a very obliging fellow, and not unlike me personally, is
acquainted with three chords, with which he manages to accompany most of
the comic songs of the day.

LADY CORINTHIA. I do not sing comic songs. Neither will you when I am
your Egeria. Come. I give a musical at-home this afternoon. I will allow
you to sit at my feet.

BALSQUITH. That is my ideal of romantic happiness. It commits me exactly
as far as I desire to venture. Thank you.

THE ORDERLY. Wot price me, General? Wont you celebrate your engagement
by doing something for me? Maynt I be promoted to be a sergeant.

MITCHENER. Youre too utterly incompetent to discharge the duties of a
sergeant. You are only fit to be a lieutenant. I shall recommend you for
a commission.

THE ORDERLY. Hooray! The Parkinsons of Stepney will be proud to have
me call on them now. Ill go and tell the sergeant what I think of him.
Hooray! (He rushes out.)

MRS. FARRELL (going to the door and calling after him.) You might have
the manners to shut the door idther you. (She shuts it and comes between
Mitchener and Lady Corinthia.)

MITCHENER.