gone?"
"Not gone away, sir.
Sorry to say, sir;
John ill a-bed, sir,
Bad in 'is 'ed, sir.
'Ad a great fright, sir.
Turned 'is 'air wite, sir.
Last Monday night, sir."
"Struck down with fear!
How? Let me hear."
"'Orrible thing, sir,
Came on the wing sir;
Window in through, sir,
Suddently flew, sir,
Into this room, sir,
A shape from the tomb, sir.
'Twasn't a bat, sir;
No, sir, not that, sir:
Moth, sir, we thought, sir.
But wen it was caught, sir,
Huttered a shriek, sir,
A scream, sir, a squeak, sir!
Hinsect, you know, sir,
Couldn't do so, sir.
Wot should we find, sir,
On its back, sir, be'ind, sir,
Printed, exact, sir?--
A skull, sir,--a fact, sir!
John gasped for breath, sir;
Thought it was Death, sir--
Notice to quit, sir.
John was that frit, sir,
John 'ad a fit, sir--
Went a'most mad, sir.
John very bad, sir;
Better, bimeby, sir;
'Opes John won't die, sir.
Doctor 'e said, sir,
Moth, named death's 'ed, sir,
In natteral 'istory, sir;
Rare; but no mystery, sir:
Honly a prize, sir,
A catch in 'is heyes, sir,
As a medical gent, sir,
No call to repent, sir--
That's 'is belief, sir.
A sirloin of beef, sir,
Just up--very nice, sir.
Bring you a slice, sir?
Potatoes and greens, sir--
And any French beans, sir?"

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mrs. Godolphin._ "Shall we meet at Dunchester House
to-morrow?"

_Mrs. Lascelles._ "No. _I_ was there on Monday. I heard there were a few
people going to-morrow."

_Mrs. Godolphin._ "Oh, yes. She has only asked quite a few people. On
Monday, now, I hear there was quite a big rabble there!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF IMPORTANCE.--_Mrs. Brown._ "We are
having some friends to dine with us on the twenty-fourth, Mr. Green, and
want you to come and help to wait at table, as usual." _The Family
Greengrocer._ "On the twenty-fourth, ma'am? I'm sorry to say I'm engaged
on the twenty-fourth." _Mrs. Brown._ "Dear me! How unfortunate! We are
so accustomed to you, and you know our ways." _Mr. Green._ "Yes, ma'am.
Couldn't you write and put off your friends till the week _after_,
ma'am?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID

"By the way, your friend O'Leary dined with me last night. What a dull
dog he is!"

"Oh, t