gon; and immediately no fewer
than nine members rose to propose a suitable person--they each had a
noble-minded friend or relative willing to sacrifice himself for the
good of the poor.

The nine Benevolent stood looking at each other and at the Chairman
with sickly smiles upon their hypocritical faces. It was a dramatic
moment. No one spoke. It was necessary to be careful. It would never
do to have a contest. The Secretary of the OBS was usually regarded as
a sort of philanthropist by the outside public, and it was necessary to
keep this fiction alive.

For one or two minutes an awkward silence reigned. Then, one after
another they all reluctantly resumed their seats with the exception of
Mr Amos Grinder, who said he wished to propose his nephew, Mr Sawney
Grinder, a young man of a most benevolent disposition who was desirous
of immolating himself upon the altar of charity for the benefit of the
poor--or words to that effect.

Mr Didlum seconded, and there being no other nomination--for they all
knew that it would give the game away to have a contest--the Chairman
put Mr Grinder's proposal to the meeting and declared it carried
unanimously.

Another considerable item in the expenditure of the society was the
rent of the offices--a house in a back street. The landlord of this
place was another very deserving case.

There were numerous other expenses: stationery and stamps, printing,
and so on, and what was left of the money was used for the purpose for
which it had been given--a reasonable amount being kept in hand for
future expenses. All the details were of course duly set forth in the
Report and Balance Sheet at the annual meetings. No copy of this
document was ever handed to the reporters for publication; it was read
to the meeting by the Secretary; the representatives of the Press took
notes, and in the reports of the meeting that subsequently appeared in
the local papers the thing was so mixed up and garbled together that
the few people who read it could not make head or tail of it. The only
thing that was clear was that the society had been doing a great deal
of good to someone or other, and that more money was urgently needed to
carry on the work. It usually appeared something like this:

HELPING THE NEEDY
Mugsborough Organized Benevolence Society
Annual Meeting at the Town Hall

A Splendid record of Miscellaneous a