n
buckets on some of the jobs, and also to the four-ale that was supplied
by certain pubs.

One of the new inventions was regarded with a certain amount of
indignation by the hands: it was a white enamel, and they objected to
it for two reasons--one was because, as Philpot remarked, it dried so
quickly that you had to work like greased lightning; you had to be all
over the door directly you started it.

The other reason was that, because it dried so quickly, it was
necessary to keep closed the doors and windows of the room where it was
being used, and the smell was so awful that it brought on fits of
dizziness and sometimes vomiting. Needless to say, the fact that it
compelled those who used it to work quickly recommended the stuff to
Misery.

As for the smell, he did not care about that; he did not have to inhale
the fumes himself.

It was just about this time that Crass, after due consultation with
several of the others, including Philpot, Harlow, Bundy, Slyme, Easton
and the Semi-drunk, decided to call a meeting of the hands for the
purpose of considering the advisability of holding the usual Beano
later on in the summer. The meeting was held in the carpenter's shop
down at the yard one evening at six o'clock, which allowed time for
those interested to attend after leaving work.

The hands sat on the benches or carpenter's stools, or reclined upon
heaps of shavings. On a pair of tressels in the centre of the workshop
stood a large oak coffin which Crass had just finished polishing.

When all those who were expected to turn up had arrived, Payne, the
foreman carpenter--the man who made the coffins--was voted to the chair
on the proposition of Crass, seconded by Philpot, and then a solemn
silence ensued, which was broken at last by the chairman, who, in a
lengthy speech, explained the object of the meeting. Possibly with a
laudable desire that there should be no mistake about it, he took the
trouble to explain several times, going over the same ground and
repeating the same words over and over again, whilst the audience
waited in a deathlike and miserable silence for him to leave off.
Payne, however, did not appear to have any intention of leaving off,
for he continued, like a man in a trance, to repeat what he had said
before, seeming to be under the impression that he had to make a
separate explanation to each individual member of the audience. At
last the crowd could stand it no longer, and began to