and who continued to clamour for a halfpenny rate.

Another specious fraud was the 'Distress Committee'. This body--or
corpse, for there was not much vitality in it--was supposed to exist
for the purpose of providing employment for 'deserving cases'. One
might be excused for thinking that any man--no matter what his past may
have been--who is willing to work for his living is a 'deserving case':
but this was evidently not the opinion of the persons who devised the
regulations for the working of this committee. Every applicant for
work was immediately given a long job, and presented with a double
sheet of foolscap paper to do it with. Now, if the object of the
committee had been to furnish the applicant with material for the
manufacture of an appropriate headdress for himself, no one could
reasonably have found fault with them: but the foolscap was not to be
utilized in that way; it was called a 'Record Paper', three pages of it
were covered with insulting, inquisitive, irrelevant questions
concerning the private affairs and past life of the 'case' who wished
to be permitted to work for his living, and all these had to be
answered to the satisfaction of Messrs D'Encloseland, Bosher, Sweater,
Rushton, Didlum, Grinder and the other members of the committee, before
the case stood any chance of getting employment.

However, notwithstanding the offensive nature of the questions on the
application form, during the five months that this precious committee
was in session, no fewer than 1,237 broken-spirited and humble 'lion's
whelps' filled up the forms and answered the questions as meekly as if
they had been sheep. The funds of the committee consisted of L500,
obtained from the Imperial Exchequer, and about L250 in charitable
donations. This money was used to pay wages for certain work--some of
which would have had to be done even if the committee had never
existed--and if each of the 1,237 applicants had had an equal share of
the work, the wages they would have received would have amounted to
about twelve shillings each. This was what the 'practical' persons,
the 'business-men', called 'dealing with the problem of unemployment'.
Imagine having to keep your family for five months with twelve
shillings!

And, if you like, imagine that the Government grant had been four times
as much as it was, and that the charity had amounted to four times as
much as it did, and then fancy having to keep your family for five
months w