uvernment.

Methawt Fernandy Wood, uv New York, wuz chosen viva voce, ez President,
and he stept forerd to hev the oath administered to him, wich wuz 2 be
dun by the oldest Justis uv the Peece uv the late stait uv Noo Gersey,
wich hez committed sooicide. Here a new trouble ensood--there wuzn't a
bible to be found in the whole encampment. The difficulty wuz got over
by a New York Alderman yellin out, "Never mind the oath. What's the
yoose uv any oath _he_ takes?" So he wuz declared President.

Prest. Wood then proceeded to organize. He requested sich ez hed held
commissions in the army uv the Yoonited States to step forerd three
paces. Gens. Micklelan, Buel, Fitsjohn Porter, & Slocum stept forerd,
and with em some 4,000, a part uv whom hed held quartermasters'
commissions, and whose accounts,

"Jest afore the battle, mother,"

didn't balance, but wich alluz did jist after, and others who hed bin
dismist for bein in the rear, when their sooperiors desired to see em in
the front, and who consekently considered it a d----d Ablishun war, wich
they didn't approve uv no how.

Then hevin ascertained the material for officerin his army, he axed all
them who bed bin in the service as privates to step forerd. 20,000
obeyed, and the President asked the fust one where he enlisted, who
ansered ez follows:--

"At Noo York, April 12, 1864, bounty $1,000;
and at Philadelphia, April 14, 1864, bounty $700;
and at Pittsburgh, April 16, 1864, bounty $800;
and at Cincernati, April 19, 1864, bounty $400;
and at--"

"Enough," said Fernandy, and glancin down the line, and seein all the
faces were uv the same style and expression, he asked no more uv em any
questions.

Remarkin that it wuz well enough to establish a church, he desired all
who were ministers uv the Gospel to step forerd. 21 stept out and
desired to explain. They cood not say that they were just now in full
connexion with any church. They hed bin, but their unconstooshnel
Ablishin Synods and conferences hed accoosed em uv irregularities in
hoss tradin, and various other irregularities, and suspended em, and
silenced em and sich, becoz they were Democrats, but--

The President shrugged his sholders, and asked all who cood read to step
out. About one-half answered, and then he requestid sich uv this number
ez cood be prevaled upon to accept a small office, and who bleeved
theirselves fit, to step out agin, and to my unutterable horror and
con