ceptin the
skulkers, who comprised all uv that class wich we wood hev bin glad to
hev killed. Linkin wantid to hev us free our niggers, and be compensatid
for em. We held on to the sin uv niggers, and now they are taken from us
with nary a compensate. In short, whatever uv good the Devil promised us
in pollytix hez resulted in evil. My niggers is gone, my plantashen here
hez fed alternately both armies, ez they cavorted backerds and forrerds
through the Stait, my house and barns wuz burnt, and all I hev to show
for my property is Confedrit munny, which is a very dead article uv
death. I know not what the venerable old sucker in the pulpit wuz a goin
to say, but ef he kin look over this section uv the heritage, and cant
preach a elokent sermon on that text, he aint much on the preach. I'm
dun."

Uv coarse, after a ebulition of this kind, I cooldn't go on. I dismist
the awdience with a benedickshun, hopin to get em together when sich
prejudiced men aint present.

PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.

V.

The Effect the Proclamation of Secretary Seward produced in Kentucky.

CONFEDRIT x ROADS
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
December 20, 1865.

At last! The deed is dun! The tiranikle government which hez sway at
Washington hez finelly extinguished the last glimerin flicker uv
Liberty, by abolishin slavery! The sun didn't go down in gloom that
nite--the stars didn't fade in2 a sickly yeller, at wich obstinacy uv
nachur I wuz considably astonished.

I got the news at the Post Offis (near wich I am at present stayin, at
the house uv a venerable old planter, who accepts my improvin
conversation and a occasional promise, wich is cheap, ez equivalent for
board). Sadly I wendid my way to his peaceful home, dreadin to fling
over that house the pall uv despair. After supper I broke to em ez
gently ez I cood the intelligence that three-fourths uv the States hed
ratified the constooshnel amendment--that Seward had ishood his
proclamation, and that all the Niggers wuz free!

Never did I see sich sorrer depicted on human countenance--never wuz
there despair uv sich depth. All nite long the bereaved inmates uv that
wunst happy but now distracted home wept and waled in agony wich wuz
perfectly heart r