bell wuz rung, the people
gathered together, and I wuz elected Chairman (they alluz elect me to
preside becoz I'm bald-hedded; they think bald heads and dignity is
inseparable), and Deekin Pogram Secretary, with 36 Vice-Presidents--one
for each State. I made a short speech on takin the chair, congratulatin
em on the auspicious event wich called us together. Whereupon a
Committee on Resolutions wuz appinted, wich, after a short absense,
reported ez follows:--

Whereas, Genral Rosso, a native-born Kentuckian, and therefore a
gentleman, hevin got into a argument with a Iowa sheep-breeder;
and,

Whereas, hevin got the wust uv the argument, he dextrously
turned it into blackguardin; and,

Whereas, hevin got the wust uv the blackguardin, he remembered
the ancient usages uv the chivalrous sons uv the South, and
caned him; therefore, be it

_Resolved_, That we, the Dimocrisy uv Confedrit x Roads, wich is
in the State uv Kentucky, hereby thank General Rosso for his
manly vindication uv the character uv Kentucky.

_Resolved_, That we know not wich to admire the most; the dashin
Gineral's courage in bravin the public sentiment uv the North,
or his prudence in selectin the smallest and physically weakest
man in the House to demonstrate onto.

_Resolved_, That ez Thad Stevens is 70 years uv age, and lame,
and hardly recovered from his fit uv sickness, we suggest that
our beloved hero commence a argument with him, feelin that so
far ez the argument and blackguardin goes the result will be the
same, only so much more so ez to give him a good excuse for
killin him, wich wood be doin the South a servis indeed.

_Resolved_, That the Dimocrisy uv Kentucky hevent felt so good
sence the Memphis riots.

_Resolved_, That this manly act uv Gineral Rosso's makes up and
compensates the South for the outrage he inflicted onto her when
he jined the vandal host wich devastated her soil, and that
hereafter he shel be receeved with just the same cordiality ez
tho he had gone into the Confedrit instid uv the Federal servis.

_Resolved_, That the thanks uv the Dimocrisy are due the bold,
brave men who accompanied and stood by General Rosso in this
vindication uv the Southern spirit.

I put the affirmative, ez is the custom here, it bein the rool, when the
leaders want a thing to pass, never to call for the nays, and