goes yoor offishl head."

That last appele fetched me. Ruther than risk that offis I'd chaw
striknine, for uv what akkount is a Dimokrat, who hez wunst tasted the
sweets uv place, and is ousted? And from Chicago on I wuz forced to
taste his food and likker--to act ez a sort uv a litenin-rod to shed off
the vengeance uv the nigger waiters. I wood taste uv every dish and
drink from each bottle, and ef I didn't swell up and bust in 15 minits
His serene Highness wood take hold. I suffered several deaths. I resoom
my diary:

JOLIET.--The crowd wuz immense. The peasantry, ez the train approached,
rent the air with shouts uv "Grant!" "Grant!" His Potency, the
President, promptly acknowledged the compliment. He was sacrificin
hisself for them--who hed made greater sacrifices? He hed bin Alderman
uv his native town, and Vice-President; he wuz too modest to make a
speech; but ef he wuz Joodas Iskariot, who wuz the Saviour? He hed swung
around the cirkle, and hedn't found none so far. He left in their hands
the--

And so on, until near St. Louis, when we penetrated a Democratic
country, uv wich I informed his Majesty. "How knowest thou?" sez he.
"Easy," sez I. "I observe in the crowds a large proportion uv red noses,
and hats with the tops off. I notice the houses unpainted, with pig pens
in front ov em; and what is more, I observe that crowds compliment yoo
direct, instead of doin it, ez heretofore, over Grant's shoulders. The
Knights uv the Golden Cirkle, wich I spect is the identical cirkle
yoo've bin swingin around lately, love yoo and approach yoo
confidently."

The President brisked up, and from this to Indianapolis he spoke with a
flooidity I never observed in him before. I may say, to yoose a medikle
term, that he had a hemorrhage uv words. At the latter city our
reception was the most flatrin uv eny we have experienced. The people,
when the President appeared on the balcony uv the Bates House, yelled so
vociferously for Grant, that the President, when he stepped forward to
acknowledge the compliment, coodent be heard at all. He waved his hat;
and the more he waved it the more complimentary the crowd became.
"Grant!" "Grant!" they yelled; and the more the President showed himself
the more they yelled Grant, until, overpowered by the warmth uv the
recepshun, and unwillin to expose his health, the President retired
without slingin a speech at em, but entirely satisfied that the people
wuz with him.

The next mornin