whose intimacy you pretended, was not the God under
whom a Christian minister takes service, but a being
formed after the image of a Prussian drill-sergeant who
wears a pointed helmet and a turned-up moustache.

Sir, I have my doubts as to this fearful war in which we
are engaged. You entered upon it, you say, to carry out
your treaty obligations to Austria. Treaties, no doubt, are
sacred things. But why, then, was not the treaty obligation
to Belgium as sacred as that with Austria? Was it
because Belgium was weak and (as you thought) defenceless
that you invaded her country, slaughtered her people,
and sacked her towns? Was this the reason for the foul
treatment of Louvain? And is it agreeable, do you think,
to the Almighty that the glorious Cathedral of Rheims
should be bombarded and ruined even by German shells?

When the years have rolled on and you shall have been
called away to render an account of what you did on earth,
for what reasons will you be remembered amongst men?
Not because you established justice and did good deeds--or
even great ones--for your people, but because you
plunged the world in war in order to feed your vanity,
and laid waste Belgium and shattered the Cathedral of
Rheims. Truly a shining memory.

Yours, in all humility,
DRYANDER.

* * * * *

Illustration: BOER AND BRITON TOO.

GENERAL BOTHA (_composing telegram to the KAISER_). "JUST OFF TO REPEL
ANOTHER RAID. YOUR CUSTOMARY WIRE OF CONGRATULATION SHOULD BE ADDRESSED:
'BRITISH HEADQUARTERS--GERMAN SOUTH-WEST AFRICA.'"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Incredulous friend_ (_to soldier invalided home_).
"WHAT--YOU CAPTURED TEN GERMANS BY YOURSELF? GOOD GRACIOUS! HOW DID YOU
DO IT?"

_Tommy._ "I JUST SHOUTED OUT 'WAITER!' AND THEY CAME ALONG."

* * * * *

THE LAST LINE.

I.

We are the last line of defence. When the Regular Army and the Reserve
Army and the new Million Army and the Indian Army and the Overseas Army
and the Territorial Army are all entering Berlin together, then the
defence of England (we hope) will rest entirely upon us. There are not
many of us, as armies go nowadays, but there ought to be one apiece for
all the towns round the coast, and what we lack in numbers we shall make
up for in pride.

We are the last line of defence