Will be held in the
DISMANTLED BRITISH EMBASSY.

* * *

PROGRAMME.

I.

SELECTION:
"Hail, Smiling Marne."
_Band of the Imperial Prussian Guard._

II.

SONG:
"Father, dear Father, come Home with
me now."
_Words and music by
the GERMAN CROWN PRINCE._

III.

BANJO RECITAL:
"The Sally of our Ally."
_Words and music by
the Emperor FRANCIS JOSEPH._

IV.

CHORUS:
"Forty Years On."
_Setting arranged by
Count VON MOLTKE the Second._

V.

SONG:
"Oft in the Stilly Night."
_Words and music by
COUNT ZEPPELIN, composer of
"What does little Birdie say?"_

VI.

RECITAL:
"The Blue Carpathian Mountains."
_The Viennese Orchestra._

VII.

HUMOROUS SONG:
"The Bonny Bonny Banks."
_Arranged by
the Imperial Minister of Finance._

VIII.

SONG:
"And Nobody cares for Me!"
_Respectfully dedicated to
the GERMAN EMPEROR._

IX.

GRAND PATRIOTIC CHORUS (in which
the audience is requested to join):

"PRUSSIA EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN
THIS DAY WILL GRAB HIS BOOTY."

* * * * *

Illustration: "GREAT SCOTT! I MUST DO SOMETHING. DASHED IF I DON'T GET
SOME MORE FLAGS FOR THE OLD JIGGER!"

* * * * *

THE STEEPLE.

There's mist in the hollows,
There's gold on the tree,
And South go the swallows
Away over sea.

They home in our steeple
That climbs in the wind,
And, parson and people,
We welcome 'em kind.

The steeple was set here
In 1266;
If WILLIAM could get here
He'd burn it to sticks.

He'd burn it for ever,
Bells, belfry and vane,
That swallows would never
Come home there again.

He'd bang down their perches
With cannon and gun,
For churches is churches,
And WILLIAM'S a Hun.

So--mist in the hollow
And leaf falling brown--
Ere home comes the swallow
May WILLIAM be down!

And high stand the steeples
From Lincoln to Wells,
For parsons and peoples,
For birds and for bells!

* * * * *

"It makes things clearer, for example, if one knows that a howitzer
gun drops its shells, while an ordinary field gun fires them to all
intents and purposes vertically."

_Weekly Dispatch._

Much clearer.

* * * * *

Illustration: _Youthful Patriot._ "Oh, mummy, you _must_ speak to baby:
he's most awfully naughty. He won't let nurse take his vest off, and
(_in