oculist about your astigmatism, my dear. Surely you want to avoid
glasses. Come to my study on your return and I'll give you the name of a
trustworthy man. And now let us proceed with the ceremony of marriage.
(_To_ THE BRIDEGROOM): John, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded
wife, to live together in the holy state of eugenic matrimony? Wilt thou
love her, comfort her, protect her from all protozoa and bacteria, and
keep her in good health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee unto her
only, so long as ye both shall live? If so, hold out your tongue.

(THE BRIDEGROOM _holds out his tongue and_ THE CLERGYMAN _inspects it
critically._)

THE CLERGYMAN

(_Somewhat dubiously_) Fair. I have seen worse.... Do you smoke?

THE BRIDEGROOM

(_Obviously lying_) Not much.

THE CLERGYMAN

Well, _how_ much?

THE BRIDEGROOM

Say ten cigarettes a day.

THE CLERGYMAN

And the stain noted on your right posterior phalanx by the learned
medical examiners?

THE BRIDEGROOM

Well, say fifteen.

THE CLERGYMAN

(_Waggishly_) Or twenty to be safe. Better taper off to ten. At all
events, make twenty the limit. How about the booze?

THE BRIDEGROOM

(_Virtuously_) Never!

THE CLERGYMAN

What! Never?

THE BRIDEGROOM

Well, never again!

THE CLERGYMAN

So they _all_ say. The answer is almost part of the liturgy. But have a
care, my dear fellow! The true eugenist eschews the wine cup. In every
hundred children of a man who ingests one fluid ounce of alcohol a day,
six will be left-handed, twelve will be epileptics and nineteen will
suffer from adolescent albuminuria, with delusions of persecution....
Have you ever had anthrax?

THE BRIDEGROOM

Not yet.

THE CLERGYMAN

Eczema?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Pott's disease?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Cholelithiasis?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Do you have a feeling of distention after meals?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Have you a dry, hacking cough?

THE BRIDEGROOM

Not at present.

THE CLERGYMAN

Are you troubled with insomnia?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Dyspepsia?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Agoraphobia?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Do you bolt your food?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Have you lightning pains in the legs?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN