ore about women than married men. If they didn't they'd
be married, too.

Sec. 26.

Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the
nose and another hanging on to his coat-tails.

Sec. 27.

All women, soon or late, are jealous of their daughters; all men, soon
or late, are envious of their sons.

Sec. 28.

History seems to bear very harshly upon women. One cannot recall more
than three famous women who were virtuous. But on turning to famous men
the seeming injustice disappears. One would have difficulty finding
even two of them who were virtuous.

Sec. 29.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

Sec. 30.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month
before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and
you will have the truth about him in a very handy form.

Sec. 31.

The worst of marriage is that it makes a woman believe that all men are
just as easy to fool.

Sec. 32.

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other
fellow married her.

Sec. 33.

A man may be a fool and not know it--but not if he is married.

Sec. 34.

All men are proud of their own children. Some men carry egoism so far
that they are even proud of their own wives.

Sec. 35.

When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or
gain one wife and one friend.

Sec. 36.

Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent rats.

Sec. 37.

He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.

Sec. 38.

A bachelor is one who wants a wife, but is glad he hasn't got her.

Sec. 40.

Women usually enjoy annoying their husbands, but not when they annoy
them by growing fat.

_XIII.--PANORAMAS OF PEOPLE_

_XIII.--Panoramas of People_

_I.--Men_

Fat, slick, round-faced men, of the sort who haunt barber shops and are
always having their shoes shined. Tall, gloomy, Gothic men, with
eyebrows that meet over their noses and bunches of black, curly hair in
their ears. Men wearing diamond solitaires, fraternal order watchcharms,
golden elks' heads with rubies for eyes. Men with thick, loose lips and
shifty eyes. Men smoking pale, spotted cigars. Men who do not know what
to do with their hands when they talk to women. Honorable, upright,
successful men who seduce their stenographers and are kind to their dear
old mothers. Men who allow their wives to dress like