n canal-boats."

"We'd rather give you our money right out," retorted the Doctor.

"Thank you," said the Idiot. "But I don't need money. I don't like money.
Money is responsible for more extravagance than any other commodity in
existence. Besides, it and I are not intimate enough to get along very
well together, and when I have any I immediately do my level best to rid
myself of it. But to return to our canal-boat, I note a look of
disapproval in Mr. Whitechoker's eyes. He doesn't seem to think any
more of my scheme than do the rest of you--which I regret, since I
believe that he would be the gainer if land edifices were supplanted by
the canal system as proposed by myself. Take church on a rainy morning,
for instance. A great many people stay at home from church on rainy
mornings just because they do not want to venture out in the wet. Suppose
we all lived in canal-boats? Would not people be deprived of this flimsy
pretext for staying at home if their homes could be towed up to the
church door? Or, better yet, granting that the churches followed out the
same plan, and were themselves constructed like canal-boats, how easy it
would be for the sexton to drive the church around the town and collect
the absentees. In the same manner it would be glorious for men like
ourselves, who have to go to their daily toil. For a consideration, Mrs.
Pedagog could have us driven to our various places of business every
morning, returning for us in the evening. Think how fine it would be for
me, for instance, instead of having to come home every night in an
overcrowded elevated train or on a cable-car, to have the office-boy come
and announce, 'Mrs. Pedagog's Select Home for Gentlemen is at the door,
Mr. Idiot.' I could step right out of my office into my charming little
bedroom up in the bow, and the time usually expended on the cars could be
devoted to dressing for tea. Then we could stop in at the court-house for
our legal friend; and as for Doctor Capsule, wouldn't he revel in driving
this boarding-house about town on his daily rounds among his patients?"

"What would become of my office hours?" asked the Doctor. "If this house
were whirling giddily all about the city from morning until night, I
don't know what would become of my office patients."

"They might die a little sooner or live a little longer, that is all,"
said the Idiot. "If they weren't able to find the house at all, however,
I think it would be better for us, for muc