ould immediately recognize as the dicta of
my poor self."

[Illustration: "THEY ARE GIVEN TO REHEARSING AT ALL HOURS"]

"All of which," put in Mr. Whitechoker, "but proves the truth of my
assertion that such a person would be an extremely objec--"

"Then, as I said before," continued the Idiot, "he is continually
rehearsing, and his objectionableness as a fellow-boarder would be
greater or less, according to his play. If he were impersonating a
shiftless wanderer, who shows remarkable bravery at a hotel fire, we
should have to be prepared at any time to hear the fire-engines rushing
up to the front door, and to see our comedian scaling the fire-escape
with Mrs. Pedagog and her account-books in his arms, simply in the line
of rehearsal. If he were impersonating a detective after a criminal
masquerading as a good citizen, the School-Master would be startled some
night by a hoarse voice at his key-hole exclaiming: 'Ha! ha! I have him
now. There is no escape save by the back window, and that's so covered
o'er with dust 'twere suffocation sure to try it.' I hesitate to say what
would happen if he were a tank comedian."

[Illustration: "'HA! HA! I HAVE HIM NOW!'"]

"Perhaps," said Mr. Whitechoker, with a trifle more impatience than was
compatible with his calling--"perhaps you will hesitate long enough for
me to state what I have been trying to state ever since this soliloquy
of yours began--that in any event, whether this person be a tragedian, or
a comedian, or a walking gentleman, or a riding gentleman in a circus, I
object to his being admitted to this circle, and I deem it well to say
right here that as he comes in at the front door I go out at the back. As
a clergyman, I do not approve of the stage."

"That ought to settle it," said the Idiot. "Mr. Whitechoker is too good
a friend to us all here for us to compel him to go out of that back door
into the rather limited market-garden Mrs. Pedagog keeps in the yard. My
indirect plea for the admission of Mr. Junius Brutus Davenport was based
entirely upon my desire to see this circle completed or nearer completion
than it is at present. We have all the professions represented here but
the stage, and why exclude it, granting that no one objects? The men
whose lives are given over to the amusement of mankind, and who are
willing to place themselves in the most outrageous situations night after
night in order that we may for the time being seem to be lifted out of
the unp