what he said."

"I didn't say anything," said the lawyer, "except that I could bear
testimony to the effect that your experience with flat life was similar
to mine. This young person, with his customary nerve, tries to make it
appear that I said you sang comic songs in the early morning."

"I try to do nothing of the sort," said the Idiot. "I simply expressed my
belief that in spite of what you said Mr. Pedagog was innocent, and I do
so because my experience with him has taught me that he is not the kind
of man who would do that sort of thing. He has neither time, voice, nor
inclination. He has an ear--two of them, in fact--and an impressionable
mind, but--"

"Oh, tutt!" interrupted the School-Master. "When I need a defender, you
may spare yourself the trouble of flying to my rescue."

"I know I _may_," said the Idiot, "but with me it's a question of can and
can't. I'm willing to attack you personally, but while I live no other
shall do so. Wherefore I tell Mr. Brief plainly, and to his face, that if
he says you ever sang a comic song he says what is not so. You might hum
one, but sing it--never!"

"We were talking of flats, I believe," said Mr. Whitechoker.

"Yes," said the Idiot, "and these persons have changed it from flat talk
to sharp talk."

"Well, anyhow," put in Mr. Brief, "I lived in a flat once, and it was
anything but pleasant. I lost a case once for the simple and only reason
that I lived in a flat. It was a case that required a great deal of
strategy on my part, and I invited my client to my home to unfold my plan
of action. I got interested in the scheme as I unfolded it, and spoke in
my usual impassioned manner, as though addressing a jury, and, would you
believe it, the opposing counsel happened to be visiting a friend on the
next floor, and my eloquence floated up through the air-shaft, and gave
our whole plan of action away. We were routed on the point we had
supposed would pierce the enemy's armor and lay him at our feet, for the
wholly simple reason that that abominable air-shaft had made my strategic
move a matter of public knowledge."

[Illustration: "MY ELOQUENCE FLOATED UP THE AIR-SHAFT"]

"That's a good idea for a play," said the Idiot. "A roaring farce could
be built up on that basis. Villain and accomplice on one floor, innocent
victim on floor above. Plot floats up air-shaft. Innocent victim
overhears; villain and accomplice say 'ha ha' for three acts and take
a back seat in the fo