nature
that appears. In these great and noble doctrines indeed you instruct
us; but our own observation sufficiently assures us, that the greatest
profuseness in a feast appears neither delightful nor genteel, unless
beautified by order. And therefore it is absurd that cooks and waiters
should be solicitous what dish must be brought first, what next,
what placed in the middle, and what last; and that the garlands, and
ointment, and music (if they have any) should have a proper place and
order assigned, and yet that the guests should be seated promiscuously,
and no respect be had to age, honor, or the like; no distinguishing
order by which the man in dignity might be honored, the inferior learn
to give place, and the disposer be exercised in distinguishing what is
proper and convenient. For it is not rational that, when we walk or sit
down to discourse, the best man should have the best place, and not
the same order be observed at table; or that the entertainer should
in civility drink to one before another, and yet make no difference in
their seats, at the first dash making the whole company one Myconus (as
they say), a hodge-podge and confusion. This my father brought for his
opinion.

And my brother said: I am not so much wiser than Bias, that, since
he refused to be arbitrator between two only of his friends, I should
pretend to be a judge between so many strangers and acquaintance;
especially since it is not a money matter, but about precedence and
dignity, as if I invited my friends not to treat them kindly, but to
abuse them. Menelaus is accounted absurd and passed into a proverb, for
pretending to advise when unasked; and sure he would be more ridiculous
that instead of an entertainer should set up for a judge, when nobody
requests him or submits to his determination which is the best and which
the worst man in the company; for the guests do not come to contend
about precedency, but to feast and be merry. Besides, it is no easy
task to distinguish for some claim respect by reason of their age,
others--from their familiarity and acquaintance; and, as those that make
declamations consisting of comparisons, he must have Aristotle's [Greek
omitted] and Thrasymachus's [Greek omitted] (books that furnish him with
heads of argument) at his fingers' ends; and all this to no good purpose
or profitable effect but to bring vanity from the bar and the theatre
into our feasts and entertainments, and, whilst by good fellowship