l among the guests; for an entertainment is only a pastime table
with a glass of wine, ending in friendship through mutual goodwill.

But now because things pure and unmixed are usually surfeiting and
odious, and the very mixture itself, unless the simples be well
proportioned and opportunely put together, spoils the sweetness and
goodness of the composition; it is evident that there ought to be
a director to take care that the mirth and jollity of the guests be
exactly and opportunely tempered. It is a common saying that a voyage
near the land and a walk near the sea are the best recreation. Thus our
steward should place seriousness and gravity next jollity and humor;
that when they are merry, they should be on the very borders of gravity
itself, and when grave and serious, they might be refreshed as sea-sick
persons having an easy and short prospect to the mirth and jollity on
land. For mirth may be exceeding useful, and make our grave discourses
smooth and pleasant,--

As near the bramble oft the lily grows,
And neighboring rue commands the blushing rose.

But against vain and empty tempers, that wantonly break in upon our
feasts, like henbane mixed with the wine, he must advise the guests,
lest scoffing and affronts creep in under these, lest in their questions
or commands they grow scurrilous and abuse, as for instance by enjoining
stutterers to sing, bald-pates to comb their heads, or a cripple to rise
and dance. As the company abused Agapestor the Academic, one of whose
legs was lame and withered, when in a ridiculing frolic they ordained
that every man should stand upon his right leg and take off his glass,
or pay a fine; and he, when it was his turn to command, enjoined the
company to follow his example drink as he did, and having a narrow
earthen pitcher brought in, he put his withered leg into it, and drank
his glass and every one in the company, after a fruitless endeavor to
imitate, paid his forfeit. It was a good humor of Agapestor's and thus
every little merry abuse must be as merrily revenged. Besides he must
give such commands as will both please and profit, putting such as are
familiar and easy to the person, and when performed will be for his
credit and reputation. A songster must be enjoined to sing, an orator to
speak, a philosopher to solve a problem, and a poet to make a song; for
every one very readily and willingly undertakes that

In which he may outdo himself.

An Assyrian