r misdemeanor; and
therefore he that hears it supplies the concealed part, as if he knew
and gave credit to the thing. For he that laughs and is tickled at what
Theocritus said to one whom he suspected of a design upon his clothes,
and who asked him if he went to supper at such a place,--Yes, he
replied, I go, but shall likewise lodge there all night,--doth, as it
were, confirm the accusation, and believe the fellow was a thief. And
therefore an impertinent jeerer makes the whole company seem ill-natured
and abusive, as being pleased with and consenting to the scurrility of
the jeer. It was one of the excellent laws in Sparta, that none should
be bitter in their jests, and the jeered should patiently endure; but
if he took offence, the other was to forbear, and pursue the frolic
no farther. How is it possible therefore to determine such raillery as
shall delight and please the person that is jested on, when to be smart
without offence is no mean piece of cunning and address?

First then, such as will vex and gall the conscious must please those
that are clean, innocent, and not suspected of the matter. Such a joke
is Xenophon's, when he pleasantly brings in a very ugly ill-looking
fellow, and is smart upon him for being Sambaulas's minion. Such was
that of Aufidius Modestus, who, when our friend Quinitus in an ague
complained his hands were cold, replied, Sir, you brought them warm from
your province; for this made Quintius laugh, and extremely pleased
him; yet it had been a reproach and abuse to a covetous and oppressing
governor. Thus Socrates, pretending to compare faces with the beauteous
Critobulus, rallied only, and not abused. And Alcibiades again was smart
on Socrates, as his rival in Agatho's affection. Kings are pleased when
jests are put upon them as if they were private and poor men. Such was
the flatterer's to Philip, who chided him: Sir, don't I keep you? For
those that mention faults of which the persons are not really guilty
intimate those virtues with which they are really adorned. But then it
is requisite that those virtues should be evident and certainly belong
to them; otherwise the discourse will breed disturbance and suspicion.
He that tells a very rich man that he will procure him a sum of
money,--a temperate sober man, and one that drinks water only, that
he is foxed, or hath taken a cup too much,--a hospitable, generous,
good-humored man, that he is a niggard and pinch-penny,--or threatens
an ex