with Ulysses's desire of reputation, he
said,

Tell, brave Ulysses, glory of the Greeks,
How you the horses seized.
("Iliad," x. 544.)

For man cannot endure the insolence of those who praise themselves and
repeat their own exploits, unless the company desires it and they are
forced to a relation; therefore it tickles them to be asked about their
embassies and administrations of the commonwealth, if they have done
anything notable in either. And upon this account the envious and
ill-natured start very few questions of that they sort; that thwart
and hinder all such kind of motions, being very unwilling to give any
occasion or opportunity for that discourse which shall tend to the
advantage of the relater. In short, we please those to whom we put them,
when we start questions about those matters which their enemies hate to
hear.

Ulysses says to Alcinous,

You bid me tell what various ills I bore,
That the sad tale might make me grieve the more.
(Sophocles, "Oedipus at Colonus," 510.)

And Oedipus says to the chorus,

'Tis pain to raise again a buried grief.
("Odyssey," ix. 12.)

But Euripides on the contrary,

How sweet it is, when we are lulled in ease,
To think of toils!--when well, of a disease!
(Euripides, "Andromeda," Frag. 131.)

True indeed, but not to those that are still tossed, still under a
misfortune. Therefore be sure never ask a man about his own calamities;
it is irksome to relate his losses of children or estate, or any
unprosperous adventure by sea or land; but ask a man how he carried the
cause, how he was caressed by the king, how he escaped such a storm,
such an assault, thieves, and the like; this pleaseth him, he seems to
enjoy it over again in his relation, and is never weary of the topic.
Besides, men love to be asked about their happy friends, or children
that have made good progress in philosophy or the law, or are great at
court; as also about the disgrace and open conviction of their enemies;
or of such matters they are most eager to discourse, yet are cautious
of beginning it themselves, lest they should seem to insult over and
rejoice at the misery of others. You please a hunter if you ask
him about dogs, a wrestler about exercise, and an amorous man about
beauties; the ceremonious and superstitious man discourses about dreams,
and what success he hath had by following the directions of omens
or sacrifices, and by the ki