e.

_W._ Yes, Sir; thank you, Sir.

_F. L._ Waiter, don't take that money. This is my affair.

_W._ Yes, Sir.

_S. L._ It's all over now, old chap. It's paid. Come along. (_Gets up._)

_F. L. (producing a sovereign)._ That's for the bill, waiter. I don't
know anything about that other money.

_S. L._ But it's paid. It's done with.

_F. L._ Oh, no. You mustn't do that. It's my lunch. I asked you, you
know. Why, I told my wife this morning that you were lunching with me
to-day.

_S. L._ I asked you first, you know.

_F. L._ I don't think so, old chap; I don't indeed.

_S. L._ I assure you I never had a shadow of doubt about it. I took it
for granted that you knew you were lunching with me and I was the host.
Otherwise should I have made that fuss about the omelette? Should I now?

_F. L._ I was very glad you did. I felt that you felt at home.

_S. L._ It puts me in such an awkward position. Really, I should take it
as a personal favour if you'd let me pay.

_F. L._ No, no. No, no. This is my affair. I asked you.

_S. L._ I asked you first.

_F. L._ No, no. No, no. Come along. Here's your sovereign.

_S. L._ Well, I consent, but under protest. Next time you really lunch
with me.

_F. L._ Right-o. I'd love to.

* * * * *

"Lines of an alliterative character will occur to anyone who has
read much poetry. There is a notable example in Shelley's
'Skylark.'

'Singing still dost roar, and roaring ever singest.'"

_Dublin Sunday Independent._

A man we know does this much better than any skylark.

* * * * *

_The Daily Chronicle_ (of Kingston, Jamaica) informs its readers that
"According to Theopompus, a waiter of the fourth century B.C., the
Epirots were divided into fourteen independent tubes." The waiters of
Epirus must have found this a great convenience when ordering meals from
the kitchen.

* * * * *

SOUR GOATS!

[Illustration: (_An Imaginary Idyll of the Mappin Terraces at the
Zoo._)]

* * * * *

BLANCHE'S LETTERS.

Vagaries of the Moment.

_Park Lane._

Dearest Daphne,--This is completely a _jewel_ season. People may be just
as glittery as they like. Heads, necks and arms don't monopolise the
pretty-pretties now, and, what with jewelled tunics, girdles, shoes,
stockings and "_Honi soits_," as well as gems on what little corsage and
ski