annoyed if he didn't, is not enough; nor
is it enough to say that the whole plot of the piece hinges on him, and
that without him the drama would languish. What the critic wants to know
is why _Lord Arthur_ chose that very moment to come in--the very moment
when _Lady Larkspur_ was left alone in the oak-beamed hall of Larkspur
Towers. Was it only a coincidence? And if the young dramatist answers
callously, "Yes," it simply shows that he has no feeling for the stage
whatever. In that case I needn't go on with these articles.

However, it will be more convenient to assume, dear reader, that in your
play _Lord Arthur_ had a good reason for coming in. If that be so, he
must explain it. It won't do to write like this:--

_Enter_ Lord Arthur. Lady Larkspur _starts suddenly and turns towards
him._

_Lady Larkspur._ Arthur! _You_ here? (_He gives a nod of confirmation.
She pauses a moment, and then with a sudden passionate movement flings
herself into his arms._) Take me away, Arthur. I can't bear this life
any longer. Larkspur bit me again this morning for the _third_ time. I
want to get away from it all. [_Swoons._

The subsequent scene may be so pathetic that on the hundredth night it
is still bringing tears to the eyes of the fireman, but you must not
expect to be treated as a serious dramatist. You will see this for
yourself if you consider the passage as it should properly have been
written:--

_Enter_ Lord Arthur Fluffinose. Lady Larkspur _looks at him with
amazement._

_Lady Larkspur._ Arthur, what are _you_ doing here?

_Lord Arthur._ I caught the 2.3 from town. It gets in at 3.37, and I
walked over from the station. It's only a mile. (_At this-point he looks
at the grandfather clock in the corner, and the audience, following his
eyes, sees that it is seven minutes to four, which appears delightfully
natural._) I came to tell Larkspur to sell Bungoes. They are going down.

_Lady Larkspur (folding her hands over her chest and gazing broodingly
at the footlights)._ Larkspur!

_Lord Arthur (anxiously)._ What is it? (_Suddenly_) Has he been
ill-treating you again?

_Lady Larkspur (flinging herself into his arms)._ Oh, Arthur, Arthur, he
bit me this morning----

And so on.

But it may well be that _Lord Larkspur_ has an intrigue of his own with
his secretary, _Miss Devereux_, and, if their big scene is to take place
on the stage too, the hall has got to be cleared for them in some way.
Your natural instinct