leaving me to eat out my heart in total ignorance of all the things that
make the world a happier and a better place. Votes for women, indeed!
First let there be homes for men."

"Shall I ring for a glass of water?" she said.

"There must be no sarcasm," I said. "This is too serious for sarcasm.
Besides, think what will happen."

"Well, what?"

"John," I said, "will fall into the fishpond."

"You can have his clothes dried."

"No," I said, "I shall spank him. It is my only remedy."

"Anything else?"

"Peggy will tumble off her bicycle and cut her knee."

"Anyhow, you can't spank her for that."

"And there will be a message from the kitchen to say that there are no
mutton cutlets in England."

"You can eat beef or chicken."

"And Rosie will have to see the dentist, and Helen will want to go out
to tea, and there will be holes in all their boots; and ladies whom I
have never seen will call on you and will be shown in on me. Oh, it is a
terrible prospect!"

"It does sound rather blood-curdling," she said.

"And, after all, why do you want to go to Violet's?"

"She asked me, you know. That's one reason. And I shall be able to look
round for lodgings in August."

"Are we going to Sandy Bay in August?"

"Yes; didn't you know? And I shall have four days of perfect peace."

"You won't. You and Violet will disagree about hats, or the colour of a
dress, or the education of children, or the true way of putting men in
their proper place. It isn't everybody who agrees with you as I do."

"Yes, I know I shall miss you every minute of the time--that's what you
wanted me to say, wasn't it?"

"Yes, that was it. You really do know how to lead me by a silken
thread."

"And I shall probably get my breakfast in bed. You'll think of me, won't
you, when you're breakfasting with the children? And don't let John have
jam every day."

"I shall give him," I said, "a pot for himself."

"Good-bye," she said, pressing a paper into my hand. "I've written down
some things that _must_ be attended to."

"I shan't attend to them," I shouted, as she walked off.

"Breakfast in bed," she called back.

R. C. L.

* * * * *

THE EARTHLY HADES.

["I could reel out such a list of notorious Yorkshire criminals
... as would put every other county utterly out of the
running."--_Extract from recent letter to "The Pall Mall
Gazette."_]

Bah! to your boasts of the blackguards of