ns shtart oop to blay
Mit a game dat ve nefer haf drilled.
Ven ve see dose tings fly troo de air
Den already ve feel britty sick;
If dey hit us dey don't seem to care,
Ven dey trow dose old bombs mit a shtick.

Ven ve shoots all our cartridge avay,
Und de vagons don't pring any more;
Ven our shells get more scarce efry day,
Mit our shirts und our breechaloons tore,
Und de shmokes und de limburger done
(Dot is spreading it on britty tick),
Den I tells you it isn't no fun
Ven dose poys vill trow bombs mit a shtick."

[Footnote 1: Tipperary]

FRITZ HAS ANOTHER GROUCH

(The Germans say that if it hadn't been for the Canadian Rats they would
have got through to Calais.--News Item.)

Dere's a ting dat I'll nefer furshtay.
Ven ve shtart oop dat goot poison gas,
Vy dose Rats don't get oudt of de vay,
So us Shermans to Ypres can pass.
Ven ve shoots all our cartridge avay,
Dat's already deir time to retreat;
Vot's de use so ve make de beeg fight,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get beat?

Mit de gas dey gets britty soon killed,
Den ve send dem de shrapnel some more,
Und de bombshell mit limburger filled,
Dat vill shmell vorse dan Duffeldorf's shtore;
But dose beggars come back mit a rush,
Und I twice mit deir bay'nets get pricked;
Vot's de use so ve make de beeg push,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get licked?

I soon made some goot running, you pet!
Ven dey come like vild teufels behind;
All my life I vill dream of dem yet,
For I tought sure mine bapers vos signed.
Dey came on mit a yump und a yell
Till right into our trenches dey dashed;
Vot's de use so ve trow de beeg shell,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get smashed?

Ve haf tried efry blan dat ve knows,
But to scare dem no vay haf ve found,
(How ve vish dey had shtayed vere de snows
Blow dose maples und pines all around).
Day und night dey vill put oop de shcrap,
Und already ve lose vot ve got;
Vot's de use for us setting de trap,
If dose Rats don't know ven dey get caught.

THE KAISER CONSULTS FRITZ

October, 1915

Ven der Kaiser vould shtart some beeg shtunt,
All dose shwells den soon come to de front,
Und de prince, und de king
Seem to be de whole ting,
Mit old Fritz at de heel o