gifs me dis foolishness talk,
If I ask him he say, "Shoost go slow,
Mine dear Fritz, ven you're oudt for a valk."
Dot is not like de English I shpoke,
Vot I learn in de books I haf read.
Den no vunder mine heart is near proke;
Und Von Krink says dere's veels in mine head.

FRITZ IS LEARNING

Vile I vait in his hospital yard
For dose holes in mine back to fill up,
Den mine brain it vould vork pritty hard,
Like von vagon dat climbs de hill up.
Vill dis var soon get done, I don't know,
So some more mine Katrina vill shmile,
Vonce we tought ve vould vin long ago
But ve're learning some tings, all de vile.

Dere seems millions of men mit de gun,
Shoost like ants shwarming oudt of de hill.
From all ofer dis vorld dey haf run
Us goot Shermans already to kill.
Ve believed dat dem French vas no goot,
Shonnie Bull ve vould shtarve in his isle,
Ve vould sink all his ships dat pring foodt,
But ve're learning some tings all de vile.

It will not pe so easy, I tink,
Shonnie Bull to put down on de floor,
For venefer his ships ve vill sink,
Pritty soon he vas puilding some more,
Dose beeg zepps, und dose unterseeboots
Dat ve make mit de latest new shtyle;
If dey don't always hit vot dey shoots,
Ve must learn some more tings all de vile.

Ven already ve dakes von shmall town,
Den ve lose him a couple of dimes,
Shoost so soon von beeg hill ve goes down,
Dere's anoder von up dat ve climbs.
Some goot Shermans vos lifing to-day,
In dose drenches for five hundred mile,
Ven dose English und French vill get gay
Den ve show dem some tings, all de vile.

FRITZ HEARS FROM THE KAISER

Yaw, de Kaiser he write me von day,
Shoost so soon he find oudt he get shtuck;
First his letters dey come mit de dray,
Now de're filling von beeg motor truck,
Soon, already, I dells him vot's drue,
Dat some tings don't look goot in dis fight,
Den der Kaiser he feel britty plue,
Und like dis vay to me he vill write.

"Mine dear Fritz,--Since Von Tirp has gone oudt,
Dere's no von around here I can trust,
So I vant you to dell me, old scoudt,
Vill it pe de vorld power, or bust?
Ven ve licked de Russ, English und French,
Den de Dago und Portugee came,
Seems de deeper ve