valks,
How mooch money dat feller may get,
Und dose chaps mit de very smooth talks
May haf schemes in deir heads maype yet.

Ven some leetle birds shtand on a shtump,
Ve don't know yet de first von to fly;
Ve can't tell, from de paint on de pump,
Shoost how soon de old vell vill run dry;
Ve don't know vy de grass is so green,
Nor vy all plue roses grow red,
How de pod get ouside of de bean,
Und de cabbages get de shwelled head.

Ve don't know, ven de veather is dry,
Britty soon if ve get some more rains,
Vy dere's many a goot-looking guy
In his head dat don't haf any brains;
Vy de plack card vill alvays come thrump,
Ven a handful of red vons ve hold,
Nor how far can von leedle flea yump
Nor vy mud-turtles nefer get old.

In dose car, ven ve go for a ride,
Ve can't tell ven dere's someting vill bust,
Und ourselves ve so often haf lied,
Ve don't know any feller to trust;
Ve can't tell yet de end of dis schrap,
Ve may get, ven de fighting is done,
Some varm country, not marked on de map
Dat's more hot dan a blace in de sun.

FRITZ ON THE ENGLISH

Ven I fights mit dose Englishmans yet,
Dere vas tings vy I nefer can't see,
Und, dis time I'm certain, you bet!
Either dey must pe crazy or me.
Dey vill bay von beeg price for a king,
But as soon as he put on his crown,
Und vould try to pe doing some ting,
Dey say,--"Go avay pack und sit down."

Ven dey get all dose blace in de sun,
Und de blaces vere grows de beeg trees,
Ven already de hard vork is done,
Den John Bull say,--"Shoost go as you blease."
If in Dublin a feller rebels,
Britty soon on a rope he vill shwing,
But go free, so mine newsbaper tells,
If in Ulster he do de same ting.

Johnnie Bull prings his pread und his meat
From de ends of de vorld far avay,
Vile de lands vere he ought to grow veat,
Dem's de blaces de pheasants will shtay,
Ven he say dat he nefer vill fight,
But vill shtick mit his vork und his blay
Dat vas lies he vas telling all right,
For he fight like de teufel to-day.

Und dose beeples dat nefer had vorked,
All dose soft-handed ladies und shwells,
Und de fellers dat always had shirked,
Haf got busy now making de shells.
If ve're brisoners, vo