de vorld if dere's not enough veat,
For to make all de beeples some pread,
Den de poor vill get notting to eat,
Und dey all vill go britty soon dead,
So John Bull some potatoes vill sow,
Vere dose rabbits und pheasants haf stayed,
Und de veat, oats und barley vill grow
Vere de tennis und cricket vas blayed.

To pe oudt on de land it seems good,
Vere dose onions and cabbages grow,
Vere de pigs fall ashleep in de mud
Und de ducks in de vater vill go;
But I vork so hard now efry day,
Und I gets so beeg tired py night,
To dose friends dat I luf far avay
Den I hafn't no courage to write.

I shoost vork, und I shleep, und I eat,
So I hafn't much news for to send;
You vould hear of de Sherman redreat,
Vell I hopes dis beeg var vill soon end.
All mine troubles I hardly can't bear,
How is tings in de Faderland now?
If ve lose yet, or vin, I don't care,
So I only get back to mine frau.

Yours ever.
Fritz.

INDEX TO WAR RHYMES

Foreword Page

Modern Diplomacy 5

The Allied Forces 6

The Modern Good Samaritan 8

Satan's Soliloquy 9

The Canadian Way 10

The English Woman's Complaint 11

Unemployed 12

The Hate of Hans 13

Hans Begins to Wonder 14

=Recruiting Appeals=

Jack Canuck 18

What Owest Thou? 19

A Call to the Colors 20

Choose Ye 21

The Slacker's Son 22

Blasted Hopes 23

Langemark 24

The Canadian Army 25

Fight or Pay 26

=Rhymes for Children=

Hunting the Were-Wolf 30

Johnnie's Grouch 31

The Trench that Fritz Built 32

=Nursery Rhymes--Up-to-Date=

Ten Little Slackers 34

Jingles 35

=Miscellaneous=

Bedlam 38

The Certainties