g dat von't come troo mine head.
Vot already I'm tinking aboudt,
To pelieve in mine heart I can't yet,
But de more dat I knows I find oudt
Vy dose Englishmans frightened don't get.

Ve haf guns dat vill shoot forty miles,
Dat de fort und de city desthroys;
Ve haf Zepps. of de latest new shtyles;
Ve haf millions of men und more poys;
Ve haf hundreds of unterseeboots
Dat all ships from de ocean vill drive,
Und ve kills, und ve burns, and ve shoots
Till dere von't pe no English alive.

But for none of dese tings vill dey shcare
It's deir nerve (dat's, I tink, vat they call),
Ven ve tink ve haf licked dem, I shwear
Dat dose English shoost laugh und play ball.
But ven Shermans get oudt from de trench,
Den ve crawl avay somewhere to shmoke,
Mit some schooners de beeg thirst to quench,
For already our hearts vas near proke.

Ven dose English come on mit a run,
Den deir officers lead all de vay;
But us Shermans get chained to de gun,
Vile de boss in some safe blace vill shtay,
Maype dat's vy ve gets de cold feet,
Und dose English don't scare vort a cent;
For a private vil nefer redreat
From de blace vere his leader first vent.

FRITZ WRITES TO HIS FRAU

Dear Katrina--Dis letter I write
From von hospital, somevere in France,
For I get so proke oop in de fight
Dat dis maype vill be mine last chance.
Vell, I hold von whole trench py mineself,
Mit some poys dat shoost come to de front;
Britty soon dey get laid on de shelf,
Den your Fritz have to do be beeg shtunt.

Ven I shoot all dose English and French,
Den already I tinks I vill shmoke,
Den I hunts von safe blace in de trench,
Vere de rain mit de ground doesn't soak.
Soon I vake mit a punch from a gun,
Und I hear von Canadian say:
"Come mit me, you darned shleepy old Hun,"
Den he shteal mine seegars all avay.

Den de next ting I know I am here,
For already de vorld had turned plack;
Dat Canadian certain vos queer,
For he carry me in on his back.
From mine preast so mooch hardvare got oudt
Britty soon I can shtart von shmall shtore;
If dere's any old junk mans aboudt
Dey might call at dis hospital door.

Now Katrina don't vorry some more,
Keep de grubs from de cabbage avay,
Un