s_' (as you rightly set it down) _used_ to 'come and go,' and
that my love for you _did not_, and that is true; the first clause as
the last of the sentence, for my sympathies are very wide and
general,--always have been--and the natural problem has been the
giving unity to their object, concentrating them instead of
dispersing. I seem to have foretold, _foreknown_ you in other likings
of mine--now here ... when the liking '_came_' ... and now elsewhere
... when as surely the liking '_went_': and if they had stayed before
the time would that have been a comfort to refer to? On the contrary,
I am as little likely to be led by delusions as can be,--for Romeo
_thinks_ he loves Rosaline, and is excused on all hands--whereas I saw
the plain truth without one mistake, and 'looked to like, if looking
liking moved--and no more deep _did_ I endart mine eye'--about which,
first I was very sorry, and after rather proud--all which I seem to
have told you before.--And now, when my whole heart and soul find you,
and fall on you, and fix forever, I am to be dreadfully afraid the joy
cannot last, seeing that

--it is so baseless a fear that no illustration will serve! Is it gone
now, dearest, ever-dearest?

And as you amuse me sometimes, as now, by seeming surprised at some
chance expression of a truth which is grown a veriest commonplace to
_me_--like Charles Lamb's 'letter to an elderly man whose education
had been neglected'--when he finds himself involuntarily communicating
truths above the capacity and acquirements of his friend, and stops
himself after this fashion--'If you look round the world, my dear
Sir--for it _is_ round!--so I will make you laugh at me, if you will,
for _my_ inordinate delight at hearing the success of your experiment
with the opium. I never dared, nor shall dare inquire into your use of
that--for, knowing you utterly as I do, I know you only bend to the
most absolute necessity in taking more or less of it--so that increase
of the quantity must mean simply increased weakness, illness--and
diminution, diminished illness. And now there _is_ diminution! Dear,
dear Ba--you speak of my silly head and its ailments ... well, and
what brings on the irritation? A wet day or two spent at home; and
what ends it all directly?--just an hour's walk! So with _me_:
now,--fancy me shut in a room for seven years ... it is--no, _don't_
see, even in fancy, what is left of me then! But _you_, at the end;
this is _all_ the har