lat.

***

We are glad to learn that the little Kensington boy who was tossed by
a huge pancake on Shrove Tuesday is stated to be going on nicely.

***

Five hundred and twenty-seven pounds of American bacon have been
declared unfit for food by the Marylebone magistrate. Why this
invidious distinction?

***

"A man," says Mr. Justice KUNKEL of Pennsylvania, "has full rights in
his own home against everyone but his wife." It is surmised that his
Honour never kept a cook.

***

We are informed that the dispute between the Ministry of Labour and
the Irish Clerical Workers' Union has been settled by the latter name
being changed to the "Irish Clerical Employees' Union."

***

Mr. LLOYD GEORGE is said to favour the creation of a new Order for
deserving Welshmen. The revival of the Order of the Golden Fleece
is suggested.

***

A writer in a ladies' journal refers to the present fashion of
"satin-walnut hair." We have felt for some time that mahogany had
had its day.

***

Charged at Hove with bigamy a soldier stated that he remembered
nothing about his second marriage and pleaded that he was
absent-minded. A very good plan is to tie a knot in your boot-lace
every time you get married.

***

A sorry blow has been dealt at those who maintain we are not a
commercial race. "You gave me prussic acid in mistake for quinine this
morning," a man told a chemist the other day. "Is that so?" said the
chemist; "then you owe me another twopence."

***

For the benefit of those about to emigrate we have pleasure in
furnishing the exclusive information that very shortly there will
be big openings in America for corkscrew-straighteners.

***

We are now able to state that the wedding of Princess PATRICIA and
Commander RAMSAY passed off without a hymeneal ode from the POET
LAUREATE.

***

We understand that a lady operator who was impudent to the District
Supervisor on the telephone the other day would have been severely
reprimanded but for her plea that she mistook him for a subscriber.

***

It is reported that the paper shortage is soon to be remedied. In
these days of expensive boots this should be good news to people who
travel to and from the City by Tube on foot.

***

We hear privately that one of our leading dailies has fixed April 14th
as the date on which its office "correspondent" will first hear the