OWDEN
and Sir JOHN SIMON, all saying that from recent experience they could
affirm that an equable cold temperature was conducive to the avoidance
of catarrh. In short, an excellent means of escaping cold was to be
out in the cold.

A representative of the Board of Trade said that all that was
necessary to avoid colds was to keep fit and not approach infection.
Having offered this very practical advice the speaker gathered up his
papers and left the room.

Sir Septicus Jermyn, the famous physician, urged that the best
preventive for colds was to keep warm. One should wear plenty of thick
clothing and especially cover the neck and throat. A respirator was an
excellent thing. He even went so far as to recommend earflaps to his
patients, with beneficial results. A night-cap was also a great help.

Sir Eufus Hardy, the famous physician, protested that colds were for
the most part negligible. People took them much too seriously. The
best treatment was to be Spartan--wear the lightest clothes, abjure
mufflers, and, whenever you could find a draught, sit in it.

Mr. BERNARD SHAW said that all this cold-catching was nonsense. He
personally had never had a cold in his life. And why? Because he lived
healthily; he wore natural wool, retained his beard, ate no meat and
drank no wine. Lunatics who wore fancy tweeds, shaved, devoured their
fellow-creatures and imbibed poisonous acids were bound to catch cold.
Resuming his Jaeger halo, Mr. SHAW then left.

Sir Bluffon Gay, the famous physician, stated that in his experience
colds were necessary evils which often served useful ends in clearing
the system. For that reason he was against any treatment that served
to stop them. The "instantaneous cold cures" which were advertised so
freely filled him with suspicion. Colds should be unfettered.

Mr. Le Hay Fevre, K.C., representing the Ancient Order of
Haberdashers, said that he was in entire agreement with the last
speaker. Colds should be allowed to take their course. Nothing was
so bad as to check them.

Sir Romeo Path, the famous physician, asserted that colds were far
more serious things than people thought. As a matter of fact there
was no such thing as a cold pure and simple; colds were invariably
manifestations of other and deeper trouble. His own specific was a
long period of complete rest and careful but not meagre dieting,
followed by change of air, if necessary travel to the South of France.
(Loud coughs and cheers.)