ht have been Mr. GEORGE ROBEY in
disguise for all they knew in the office--or cared.

* * * * *

"Sorry, Sir," said the Corporal in the Officers' Payment Issue
Department at 15.59, "the gloves were sold to another officer while
you were away."

ONE OF THE _PUNCH_ BRIGADE.

* * * * *

ON HALF RATIONS.

"Two officers will be received as paying guests. Comfortable
home. Treated as _one_ of the family."--_Daily Paper_.

The italics emphasize our own feeling with regard to this niggardly
arrangement.

* * * * *

"V.A.D.--Required for Shell-shock Hospital under B.R.C.S.,
Piano, Billiard Table and Gramophone. Will any hospital
closing down and having same for sale, kindly communicate
with Secretary."--_Times_.

We do not know what sort of work the V.A.D. is expected to do under
the piano and billiard table, but we presume that her consent would be
required, and that she would not be sold, so to speak, over her own
head.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE TURN OF THE TIDE.

JOHN BULL. "I DON'T SAY I'M QUITE COMFORTABLE YET, BUT I CERTAINLY DO
SEEM TO BE GETTING IT A LITTLE LESS IN THE NECK."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SCENE.--_AMATEUR THEATRICAL REHEARSAL_.

_Author_. "NOT SO MUCH 'GAGGING,' MY LAD. JUST SPEAK _MY_ LINES, AND
THEN WAIT FOR THE LAUGH."

_Tommy (on short leave)_. "WHAT! AND RISK C.B. FOR OVERSTAYING MY
LEAVE?"]

* * * * *

ON THE RHINE.

I.

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, I am a bold and infamous Hun, I am, I am."

We are obliged to repeat this continually to ourselves in order to
present the stern and forbidding air which is supposed to mark our
dealings with the inhabitants. For, look you, we have usurped the
place of the Royal Jocks on the "right flank of the British Army," and
are on outpost duty, with our right resting on the bank of the Rhine,
while in front the notice-boards, "Limit of Cologne Bridgehead," stare
at us.

No longer are we the pleasant, easy-going, pay-through-the-nose people
that we were. No longer does our daily routine include the smile for
Mademoiselle, the chipping of Madame, or the half-penny for the little
ones. No, we steel ourselves steadily to the grim task entrusted to
us, and struggle to offer a perfect picture of stolid indifference to
anybody's welfare but