it emanating from the Bench one has to go very far back. A witness with
a long beard was giving evidence that was displeasing to Jeffreys, when
judge, who said: "If your conscience is as large as your beard, you'll
swear anything." The old man retorted: "My lord, if your lordship
measures consciences by beards, your lordship has none at all."

A somewhat similar story of Jeffreys' bullying manner, when at the Bar,
is that of his cross-examining a witness in a leathern doublet, who had
made out a complete case against his client. Jeffreys shouted: "You
fellow in the leathern doublet, pray what have you for swearing?" The
man looked steadily at him, and "Truly, sir," said he, "if you have no
more for lying than I have for swearing, you might wear a leathern
doublet as well as I."

Instances of disrespect to the Bench are rarely met with in early as
happily in later days. There is, perhaps, the most flagrant example of
young Wedderburn in the Scottish Court of Session, when with dramatic
effect he threw off his gown and declared he would never enter the Court
again; but he rose to be Lord Chancellor of England. Scarcely less
disrespectful (but not said openly to the Bench) was young Edward Hyde
when hinting that the death of judges was of small moment compared with
his chances of preferment. "Our best news," he wrote to a friend, "is
that we have good wine abundantly come over; our worst that the plague
is in town, _and no judges die_."

[Illustration: ALEXANDER WEDDERBURN, EARL OF ROSSLYN, LORD CHANCELLOR.]

In squabbles between the Bench and the Bar there are few stories that
match for personality the retort of a counsel to Lord Fortescue. His
lordship was disfigured by a purple nose of abnormal growth.
Interrupting counsel one day with the observation: "Brother, brother,
you are handling the case in a very lame manner," the angry counsel
calmly retorted, "Pardon me, my lord; have patience with me and I will
do my best to make the case as plain as--as--the nose on your lordship's
face." Nor did the retort of an Attorney-General to a judge, after a
warm discussion on a point which the latter claimed to decide, show much
respect for the Bench. The judge closed the argument with "I ruled so
and so."--"_You_ ruled," muttered the Attorney-General. "_You_ ruled!
You were never fit to rule anything but a copy-book."

Verse has been used as a medium of much amusing legal wit and humour,
although law and law cases do not off