re you complained that your case had been
tried by my brother Bowen, and you said he was only a bit of a boy, and
could not do you justice. Now you come here and say that my brother
Bacon was too old. What age do you want the judge to be?"--"Your age,"
promptly replied Mrs. Weldon, fixing her bright eyes on the handsome
countenance of the Master of the Rolls.

On Charles Phillips, who became a judge of the Insolvent Court, noticing
a witness kiss his thumb instead of the Testament, after rebuking him
said, "You may think to _desave_ God, sir, but you won't desave me."

* * * * *

[Illustration: SIR HENRY HAWKINS, LORD BRAMPTON.]

That racy and turf-attending judge, Lord Brampton, better known as Sir
Henry Hawkins, tells many good stories of himself in his
_Reminiscences_, but it is the unconscious humorist of Marylebone Police
Court who records this _bon mot_ of Sir Henry.

An old woman in the witness-box had been rattling on in the most voluble
manner, until it was impossible to make head or tail of her evidence.
Mr. Justice Hawkins, thinking he would try his hand, began with a
soothing question, but the old woman would not have it at any price. She
replied testily, "It's no use you bothering me. I have told you all I
know."--"That may be," replied his lordship, "but the question rather
is, do you know all you have told us?"

When Sir Henry (then Mr.) Hawkins was prosecuting counsel in the
Tichborne trial, over which Lord Chief Justice Cockburn presided, an
amusing incident is recorded by Mr. Plowden. The antecedents of a man
who had given sensational evidence for the claimant were being inquired
into, and in answer to Sir Henry the witness under examination said he
knew the man to be married, but his wife passed under another name.
"What name?" asked Mr. Hawkins. "Mrs. Hawkins," replied the witness.
"What was her maiden name?" added Mr. Hawkins. "Cockburn." Such a
coincident of names naturally caused hearty and prolonged laughter.

In the course of this celebrated trial another amusing incident occurred
which Sir Henry used to tell against himself. One morning as the
claimant came into Court, a lady dressed in deep mourning presented
Orton with a tract. After a few minutes he wrote something on it, and
had it passed on to the prosecuting counsel. The tract was boldly headed
in black type, "Sinner--Repent," and the claimant had written upon it,
"Surely this must have been meant for