amination Parry said: "You say you were alarmed at two dogs
fighting, madam?"--"No, no, it was a single dog," was the reply. "What
you mean, madam," retorted Parry, "is that there was only one dog; but
whether it was a single dog or a married dog you are not in a position
to say." With this correction it need not be wondered that the lady had
little more to say.

A learned counsellor in the midst of an affecting appeal in Court on a
slander case delivered himself of the following flight of genius.
"Slander, gentlemen, like a boa constrictor of gigantic size and
immeasurable proportions, wraps the coil of its unwieldy body about its
unfortunate victim, and, heedless of the shrieks of agony that come from
the utmost depths of its victim's soul, loud and reverberating as the
night thunder that rolls in the heavens, it finally breaks its unlucky
neck upon the iron wheel of public opinion; forcing him first to
desperation, then to madness, and finally crushing him in the hideous
jaws of mortal death."

Talking of his early days at the Bar, Mr. Thomas Edward Crispe, in
_Reminiscences of a K.C._, relates how on one occasion he was opposed by
a somewhat eccentric counsel named Wharton, known in his day as the
"Poet of Pump Court." The case was really a simple one, but Wharton made
so much of it that when the luncheon half-hour came the judge, Mr.
Justice Archibald, with some emphasis, addressing Mr. Wharton, said: "We
will now adjourn, and, Mr. Wharton, I hope you will take the opportunity
of conferring with your friend Mr. Crispe and settling the matter out of
Court."

But Wharton would not agree to this, and when at last he had to address
the jury, he, in the course of his speech, made the following remarks,
for every word of which Mr. Crispe vouches:

"Gentlemen, I think it only courteous to the learned judge to refer to
the advice his lordship gave me to settle the matter out of Court. That
reminds me of a case, tried in a country court, in an action for
detention of a donkey. The plaintiff was a costermonger and the
defendant a costermonger; they conducted the case in person. At one
o'clock the judge said: 'Now, my men, I'm going to have my lunch, and
before I come back I hope you'll settle your dispute out of Court.' When
he returned the plaintiff came in with a black eye and the defendant
with a bleeding nose, and the defendant said: 'Well, your honour, we've
taken your honour's advice; Jim's given me a good hiding,