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* * * * * Illustration: THE "SPASMO" CANOELET. IT IS A RELUCTANT STARTER. WHEN IT _DOES_ START, IT STARTS. IT LAUGHS AT LOCKS. IT ENDS AS A HYDRO-AEROPLANE. * * * * * Illustration: THE EMANCIPATION OF THE EAST. THE GRAND VIZIER, A MASTER OF POLYGAMY, REGRETS THE VOGUE OF THE CINEMA AS AN EDUCATIVE FORCE. * * * * * Illustration: LUNCH "SCORES." * * * * * COMPLAINTS ARE HEARD FROM HOLIDAY-MAKERS ON THEIR RETURN THAT THE HOLIDAY HAS FAILED TO BENEFIT THEM. THIS IS DUE TO LACK OF PREPARATORY TRAINING AT HOME. Illustration: HARDEN THE FEET FOR BEACH-WALKING. Illustration: ACCUSTOM THE LUNGS TO MARINE AROMAS. Illustration: PREPARE TO RECEIVE THE BUFFETINGS OF NEPTUNE. Illustration: TOUGHEN THE INTERIOR FOR A LODGING-HOUSE DIET. * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S HOLIDAY FILM. [Having had the good fortune to pick up for a mere song (or, to be more accurate, for a few notes) several thousand miles of discarded cinema films from a bankrupt company, _Mr. Punch_ is gumming the best bits together and presenting them during the holiday season on the piers of many of our fashionable watering-places, such as Bayswater, Hackney Marshes and Ponder's End. The films comprise the well-known "Baresark Basil, the Pride of the Ranch" (two miles long), "The Foiler Foiled" (one mile, three furlongs, two rods, poles or perches), "The Blood-stained Vest" (fragment--eighteen inches), "A Maniac's Revenge" (5,000 feet), "The Life of the Common Mosquito" (six legs), and so forth. An accomplished writer has been chosen to weave a connected story round the selected parts of the films, and his scenario of _Mr. Punch's_ great picture play, when finally gummed together, is given below. The illustrations depict a few representative incidents in the story--taken from the sketch-book of an artist who was present when the films were first being prepared.] Twenty-five years before our film opens, Andrew Bellingham, a young man just about to enter his father's business, was spending a holiday in a little fishing village in Cornwall. The daughter of the sheep-farmer with whom he lodged was a girl of singular beauty, and Andrew's youthful blood was quickly stirred to admiration. Carried away by his passion for her
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