ong
the Dead Men."]

_Miss Jones._ "WAKE UP, DAD, WE'RE GOING TO BATHE."

_First Act of the Drama._--AFTER THE WRECK: DESMOND AND ROSEMARY WASHED
ASHORE ON THE CANNIBAL ISLAND.

* * *

_Jones (to the rescue)._ "DEVILS! FIENDS! UNTIE THAT WHITE MAN!"

* * *

_The Cinema Manager explains._ "SORRY TO HAVE CAUSED YOU ANY
INCONVENIENCE, SIR--MERELY REHEARSING 'DOWN AMONG THE DEAD MEN'--DAM
FINE DRAMA, SIR--WE PRODUCE SAME AT THE OPERA 'OUSE, CROYDON, ON THE
16TH."

* * * * *

Illustration: _Surf-rider._ "I'M ALMOST SURE THIS ISN'T A BIT THE WAY
IT'S DONE IN THOSE ILLUSTRATED PAPERS!"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Early Tripper._ "MAKES YER FEEL LIKE OLE NAPOLEON AT
WHAT'S-ITS-NAME!"

* * * * *

Illustration: APT NOMENCLATURE IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB.

* * * * *

Illustration: _The Captain._ "THE BLOOMIN' VICE-PRESIDENT'S FORGOT THE
STUMPS. YOUNG BILL 'ERE BETTER BE THE WICKET--'E WANTS TO PLAY AND 'E'S
TOO LITTLE TO BAT AGIN SWIFT BOWLIN'!"

* * * * *

Illustration: _Native_ (_having seen his rival tipped by guileless
visitor_). "'E'S SWINDLED YER, SIR. I'M THE OLDEST
INHABITANT--NINETY-FOUR COME SUNDAY THREE WEEKS. 'E'S ONLY A YOUNGSTER
OF EIGHTY-TWO."

* * * * *

Illustration: EVEN IN HIS PLAY THE SCIENTIST'S CHILD IS SCIENTIFIC.

* * * * *

Illustration: THE POLITICAL JUNGLE.

* * * * *

Illustration: A FULL JOY-DAY.

How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions
of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course
of a one-day's trip.

_9 to 10.30 A.M._--BATHING AND FISHING.

_10.30 A.M. to 12 (noon)._--SHOOTING AND CYCLING.

_12 to 1.30 P.M._--TENNIS AND BOTANY.

_3 to 4.30 P.M._--CROQUET AND ARCHAEOLOGY.

_4.30 to 6 P.M._--GOLF AND GEOLOGY.

_6 to 7.30 P.M._--SKETCHING AND DONKEY-RIDING.

* * * * *

Illustration: RACE-COURSE OF THE NEAR FUTURE, SUFFRAGETTE-PROOF.

* * * * *

Illustration: SMITH, WHO ALWAYS WEARS THE NATIVE COSTUME WHEN FISHING
IN THE HIGHLANDS (HIS GREAT-GRAND-AUNT'S STEP-FATHER HAVING BEEN A
McGREGOR) FINDS THE MIDGES SOMEWHAT TROUBLESOME. A LITTLE INGENUITY
HOWEVER OVERCOMES THE DIFFICULTY.