IS A RETIRED LIEUT., R.N., WHO SENDS HIM THE FOLLOWING
ACCOUNT OF A PUSH:--

Time: 6.0 A.M. Course: (approx.) E. Distance run: 1-1/2 m. Wind: S.W.
Force: 6. State of land: 5 (rough, owing to craters). Weather: R.
Therm.: 35 deg. Bar.: 28.89. Remarks: Objectives attained. Observation
hampered by weather.

* * * * *

BIG GAME SHOOTING.

"Angus Bowser, the popular feed merchant of Dartmouth, shot his
mouse on Thanksgiving Day. With a couple of friends he left in
auto about 1 o'clock Monday afternoon for Bowser's Station. The
party was in the woods for about two hours when the mouse was
sighted."--_Canadian Paper_.

We hope Mr. ROOSEVELT will not be jealous.

* * * * *

Extracts from a recent novel:--

"He stepped out at Fernhurst Station, and walked up past the
Grey Abbey that watched as a sentinel over the dreamy Derbyshire
town.... So it was the system that was at fault, not Fernhurst.
Fairly contentedly he went back by the 3.30 from Waterloo."

The train system which sent him to the Midlands by the South-Western
was doubtless deranged by military exigencies.

* * * * *

"Although Lord Warwick is the most sympathetic and attentive of
listeners, he has not remembered more than one good story,
and that has now been quoted in all the papers; we mean Lord
Beaconsfield story is said to be unprintable; then why tantalise
Lord Rosslyn, on account of the possible effect of his language
on the pack, compensated by the Commissionership of the Kirk of
Scotland. The other Beaconsfield story is said to be unprintable,
then why tantalise us?"--_Saturday Review_.

Why, indeed?

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE GREAT UNCONTROLLED.

LORD RHONDDA. "LOOK HERE, JOHN, ARE YOU GOING TO TIGHTEN THAT BELT, OR
MUST I DO IT FOR YOU?"

JOHN BULL. "YOU DO IT FOR ME. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THERE FOR."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Farmer_. "WHY DO THEY LET THAT CLOCK CHIME? AREN'T
THEY AFRAID THE HUNS MIGHT HEAR IT?"

_Yokel_. "BLESS YOU, THAT'S TO DECEIVE 'EM. IT'S 'ALF-A-HOUR FAST."]

* * * * *

HOW TO BECOME A TOWN-MAJOR.

Through large and luminous glasses Second-Lieut. St. John regards this
War and its problems. He is a man of infinite jobs. There are few
villages in Franc