r that that they made him a Town-Major.

* * * * *

OUR PAMPERED "CONCHIES."

"There was a long and interesting debate on the imprisonment of
conscientious objectors in the House of Lords."--_The Times_.

This beats Donington Hall to a frazzle.

* * * * *

"Teachers will welcome the resolution deploring 'the omission
from the Bill of any limitation upon the size of
classics.'"--_Teacher's World_.

Their pupils are believed to hold a diametrically opposite opinion.

* * * * *

After the Guildhall Banquet:--

"Some had black leather bags, some had aprons. Others had nothing
at all and staggered off with a conglomeration of beef, pie, and
turtle soup tucked up under their arms."--_Weekly Dispatch_.

The menu said "Clear Soup," but this must have been a bit thick.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Sandy (on departure of peace-crank, who has been
holding forth)_. "MAN, HE'S A QUEER CARD, THAT. THINK YE HE'S A'
THERE, DONALD?"

_Donald_. "DOD, SANDY, IF WHAT'S NO THERE IS LIKE WHAT IS THERE, IT'S
JUST AS WEEL HE'S NO A' THERE."]

* * * * *

LEGAL INTELLIGENCE.

DAVID LLOYD GEORGE, described as Prime Minister, was charged,
on the information of HERBERT HENRY ASQUITH, with exceeding the
speech limit while on tour. Mr. BONAR LAW, who appeared for the
defendant, asked for an adjournment and invited the Court to "wait
and see." Upon hearing those words prosecutor broke down and had
to be assisted out of the court.

* * * * *

HORATIO BOTTOMLEY pleaded "Not guilty" to a charge of
fortune-telling. It appears that the defendant had stated that the
War would be over by Christmas. For the defence it was stated that
the defendant had not specified which Christmas, and even so if he
had said so it was so. Defendant asked for a remand to enable him
to dispense with legal assistance.

* * * * *

RESULT OF THE FOOD SHORTAGE?

"Exchange new gold full plate, seven teeth, for good brown skin
hearthrug."--_The Lady_.

* * * * *

From the police-notice _re_ air-raid warnings:--

"When the car has two occupants one might concentrate on whistling
and calling out 'Take Cover.'