the Government have decided to take short order with the
pernicious literature of the Pacifists. In future all such documents
are to be submitted to the Press Bureau before publication. A howl of
derisive laughter greeted the HOME SECRETARY'S announcement, but when
Mr. SNOWDEN essayed to move the adjournment, although he and his
friends were joined by some of the Scotch and Irish malcontents, the
total muster was only thirty-three, and the motion accordingly came to
earth with a thud.

By a large majority the House refused to reinstate the Livery
franchise in the City of London. In any case this ancient privilege
could not long have survived the curtailment of the Lord Mayor's
Feast.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Colonel_. "I'D TAKE ALL THOSE MUTINOUS HOUNDS AND
PUT 'EM AGAINST THE WALL."

_Aunt Jane_. "BUT, MY DEAR, THE AWFUL THING IS THAT IT HAS SPREAD TO
OUR OWN ARMY. I HEARD TWO SOLDIERS IN THE TRAIN TO-DAY TALKING ABOUT
THEIR SERGEANT-MAJOR IN A DREADFUL WAY."]

* * * * *

BOON FOR BUSY BRIDEGROOMS.

In these days of military hustle, when a soldier comes home, falls in
love, gets engaged, marries, sets up a home, and returns to the Front
in less than a week, there is little time for the ordinary courtesies
of matrimonial procedure. It is felt, therefore, that the appended
printed form of thanks for wedding presents--based on the model of the
Field Service Postcard--will prove a great boon to all soldiers who
meditate matrimony during short leave. It will be found sufficient
merely to strike out inappropriate words in the printed form, which is
as follows:--

"Captain and Mrs. ---- beg to return thanks for your
_
Beautiful |
Charming |
Generous |
Very generous |
Useful | Gift
Very Useful |- Cheque
More than useful | Letter."
Unexpected |
Totally unexpected |
Remarkable |
Artistic |
_|

_Examples_.--(1) To a rich and miserly uncle, who has come down with
an astonishingly handsome sum--strike out everything except "Very
generous--more than useful--totally unexpected cheque."

(2) To an eccentric former admirer of the bride, who has sent a
forty-stanza poem, entitled "Sunset in the White-chapel Road: Thoughts
Thereon"--strike out everything except "Remar