nts,
the tusks of that animal being in great request for the manufacture
of the keys.

_Richard_. I shall never go to the Zoological Gardens without
rejoicing over the suppression of the pianoforte.

_Mrs. M_. Another favourite instrument was the violin, a small and
curiously shaped apparatus fitted with four strings, which, when
rubbed or scraped with horsehair tightly stretched on a narrow wooden
frame, were made to produce sounds imitating the cries of various
animals, especially the mewing of a cat, to perfection. But as the
timbre of the instrument did not lend itself to successful mechanical
reproduction by the gramophone it fell into disuse.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SCENE.--_Basement during an air-raid. Loud noise
without_.

_The Right Kind of Boy_ (_with great animation_). "MUMMY, ARE WE
WINNING?"]

* * * * *

PUNCH'S ROLL OF HONOUR.

We are very sorry to learn that Captain A.W. LLOYD, Royal Fusiliers,
who for some time illustrated the Essence of Parliament, has been
badly wounded in East Africa. We join his many friends in England and
South Africa in sending him our sincerest hopes for his restoration to
health and strength.

* * * * *

"HE-WHO-MUST-BE-OBEYED."

SIR ARTHUR YAPP, Sir ARTHUR YAPP,
He is a formidable chap;
He says the best of this year's fashions
Is to obey his rule for rations.
To every man and every maid
Of every sort of social grade,
Sir ARTHUR YAPP, Sir ARTHUR YAPP.
He _is_--to put the thing with snap--
He-Who-_Must_-Be-Obeyed.

Sir ARTHUR YAPP, Sir ARTHUR YAPP,
He simply doesn't care a rap
For any one--his only passion's
Compelling us to keep our rations;
Downrightly he demands our aid;
He will not have the troops betrayed.
Sir ARTHUR YAPP, Sir ARTHUR YAPP,
He _is_--the right man in the gap--
He-Who-_MUST_-Be-Obeyed.

Sir ARTHUR YAPP, Sir ARTHUR YAPP,
He says the way to change the map--
The way that all of us can smash Huns--
Is simply sticking to our rations;
Whereas the Hun will have us flayed
Unless the waste of food is stayed.
Sir ARTHUR YAPP, Sir ARTHUR YAPP,
He _is_ right through this final lap--
He-Who-_MUST_-Be-Obeyed.

W.B.

* * * * *

"TO THE EDITOR OF 'THE TIMES.'

Sir,--Last Sunday evening I read your leader of October 24 as part
of my sermon to my