iverpool
Daily Post_.

He must have thought it would be good for their crops.

* * * * *

From a New Zealand official report:

"When sawing a piece of timber F----'s left thumb came
into contact with saw, cutting it."

People with thumbs like this ought not to be allowed to handle
delicate instruments.

* * * * *

"The first draft sale of the Gloucestershire Old Spots
speaks volumes for the black and white pig.. .. Nor must the
beautifully-marked pig 'Bagborough Charm VII.,' farrowed
1817, be forgotten."--_Farmer and Stockbreeder._

It seems, however, to have been overlooked for some time.

* * * * *

"'By heavens, it's the Germans!' cried Captain Jansson later,
at last awake to the truth. 'Call all hands and make for
the boats.' He turned the wheel hard astern and stopped the
ship."--_Daily Mail._

Something had gone wrong, we suppose, with the foot-brake.

* * * * *

"---- ---- was born in 1883, and received his musical education,
first in Dresden, and subsequently in England with one of
the most orthodox of the English professors, as a result of
which he entered the Diplomatic Service in 1909 as Honorary
Attache."--_The Chesterian_.

We hope this will silence the complaints as to the insufficiency of
our diplomatists' education.

* * * * *

HOW TO BRIGHTEN UP THE THEATRE.

"You want, I take it," said the stranger to the manager, "to make your
theatre the most interesting in London?"

"Naturally," the manager replied. "I do all I can to make it so, as
it is."

"Perhaps," said the stranger; "we shall see. But I have it in my power
to make it vastly more interesting than any theatre has ever been."

"You have a play?" the manager inquired; amending this, after another
glance, to "You know of a play?"

"Play? No. I'm not troubling about plays," said the caller.
"Plays--what are plays? No, I'm bringing you a live idea."

"But I don't wish to make any change in the style of my performances,"
said the manager. "If you're thinking of a new kind of entertainment
for me--super-cinema, or that 'real revue' which authors are always
threatening me with--I don't want it. I intend to keep my stage for
the legitimate drama."

The stranger had been growing more and more restless. "My dea