um and apple jam,
Bits of paper, ends of string,
Mixed with any damned thing,
In the cauldron mingle quick
So the stew be dense and thick.

_All._ Fire burn and dixie bubble,
Double toil or there'll he trouble. [_Exeunt._

SCENE III.--_Outside kitchen. Alarums._

_Enter_ Orderly Corporal.

_Orderly Corporal._ Here's a pretty pass. Eyewash,
eyewash, eyewash. And such a running to and fro and a go
this way and a go that way, and a burnishing up of old
brass and a shouting of horrid words, as though the Devil
himself were inspecting his own furnace. Faith, an I
were eyewashing Beelzebub I could catch it no hotter.

[_Shouting within._

Anon, anon. I will eyewash it no further. [_Exit._

_Flourish. Enter_ Colonel, Adjutant, Quartermaster
and Sergeant-Cook.

_Colonel._ Is all prepared?

_Sergeant-Cook._ The dinners would content
RHONDDA himself.

_Quartermaster._ The General comes.

_Flourish. Enter_ General _and_ Attendants.

_General._ Good Colonel,
Our greetings are the warmer for the thought
Of visits past.

_Colonel._ The service that we owe
In doing pays itself. Will you inspect
The dinners?

_General._ First we'll greet the Adjutant,
Whom well we recollect.

_Adjutant._ This is an honour
Which makes our labours light. Will you be pleased
To inspect the dinners?

_General._ Yes, but let us first
Discuss the general welfare of the troops
Whose good's our care.

_Sergeant-Cook (aside to Colonel)._ The time is getting long;
The stew's congealing fast.

_Colonel._ Good General,
Your grace toward our people doth confound
Th' expression of our gratitude. The hour
For dinner is at hand. An you would grace
The issue with your presence it would make
The meal the sweeter.

_General (aside)._ There doth seem to be
More than politeness in these invitations.
(_To Colonel_) I am no cook to judge by sight and touch
The flavour of a dish. Issue the dinners
To all the rank and file, that so my pleasure
In marking their expressions of content
Be equal to the praise I shall bestow.

_Voice within._ Help! help! The cooks have fainted in the st