firm of drapers:--

"Madam,--With reference to your blue Silk Mackintosh, our
manufacturers have given the garment in question a thorough
testing, and find that it is absolutely waterproof. If you will
wear it on a dry day, and then take it off and examine it you
will see that our statement is correct.

Assuring you of our best services at all times,

We are, Madam,

Your obedient Servants,

---- & SONS, Ltd."

* * * * *

A DEAL WITH CHINA.

Fritz having killed the mule, it devolved upon the village Sanitary
Inspector to see the carcass decently interred, and on application to
the C.O. of the nearest Chinese labour camp. I presently secured the
services of two beautiful old ivory carvings and a bronze statue,
clad in blue quilted uniforms and wearing respectively, by way of
head-dress, a towel turban, a straw hat and a coiffure like an early
Victorian penwiper. It was the bronze gentleman--the owner of the
noticeable coiffure--who at once really took charge of the working
party.

He introduced himself to me as "Lurtee Lee" (his official number was
thirty-three), informed me he could "speakel Engliss," and, having
by this single utterance at once apparently proved his statement
and exhausted his vocabulary, settled down into a rapt and silent
adoration of my tunic buttons.

Before we had proceeded thirty yards he had offered me five francs
(which he produced from the small of his back) for a single button. At
the end of one hundred yards the price had risen to seven twenty-five,
and arrived upon the scene of action the Celestial grave-digger made a
further bid of eight francs, two Chinese coins (value unknown) and a
tract in his native tongue. This being likewise met with a reluctant
but unmistakable refusal, the work of excavation was commenced.

Now when three men are employed upon a pit some six feet square they
obviously cannot all work at the same time in so confined a space.
One man must in turn stand out and rest. His rest time may be spent
in divers ways.

The elder of the two ivory carvings spent his breathing spells in
philosophic reverie; the younger employed his leisure in rummaging on
the neighbouring "dump" for empty tobacco tins, which he concealed
about his person by a succession of feats of legerdemain (by the end
of the morning I estimated him to be in possession of about thirty
specimens). Lurtee Lee filled every moment