papers for his signature and go out.]

KHIRIN. [Standing up] I have the honour to congratulate you, Andrey
Andreyevitch, on the fiftieth anniversary of our Bank, and hope that...

SHIPUCHIN. [Warmly shakes hands] Thank you, my dear sir! Thank you!
I think that in view of the unique character of the day, as it is an
anniversary, we may kiss each other!... [They kiss] I am very, very
glad! Thank you for your service... for everything! If, in the course of
the time during which I have had the honour to be Chairman of this Bank
anything useful has been done, the credit is due, more than to anybody
else, to my colleagues. [Sighs] Yes, fifteen years! Fifteen years as my
name's Shipuchin! [Changes his tone] Where's my report? Is it getting
on?

KHIRIN. Yes; there's only five pages left.

SHIPUCHIN. Excellent. Then it will be ready by three?

KHIRIN. If nothing occurs to disturb me, I'll get it done. Nothing of
any importance is now left.

SHIPUCHIN. Splendid. Splendid, as my name's Shipuchin! The general
meeting will be at four. If you please, my dear fellow. Give me the
first half, I'll peruse it.... Quick.... [Takes the report] I base
enormous hopes on this report. It's my _profession de foi_, or, better
still, my firework. [Note: The actual word employed.] My firework, as my
name's Shipuchin! [Sits and reads the report to himself] I'm hellishly
tired.... My gout kept on giving me trouble last night, all the morning
I was running about, and then these excitements, ovations, agitations...
I'm tired!

KHIRIN. Two... nought... nought... three... nine... two... nought. I
can't see straight after all these figures.... Three... one... six...
four... one... five.... [Uses the counting-frame.]

SHIPUCHIN. Another unpleasantness.... This morning your wife came to
see me and complained about you once again. Said that last night you
threatened her and her sister with a knife. Kusma Nicolaievitch, what do
you mean by that? Oh, oh!

KHIRIN. [Rudely] As it's an anniversary, Andrey Andreyevitch, I'll ask
for a special favour. Please, even if it's only out of respect for my
toil, don't interfere in my family life. Please!

SHIPUCHIN. [Sighs] Yours is an impossible character, Kusma
Nicolaievitch! You're an excellent and respected man, but you behave to
women like some scoundrel. Yes, really. I don't understand why you hate
them so?

KHIRIN. I wish I could understand why you love them so! [Pause.]

SHIPUCHIN. The employees have